Santa Attacks

santa had always been worried that why he has one brother while his sister has two?????

santa selling parachute, tells the customer "jump from plane n press button & you can land safely."
CUSTOMER: if it doesn't open????

santa is walking along the road. He sees a banana peel. What does he think??

"UFF, Aj phir girna padega!!"

Then next day he is walking along the road, he sees two banana peels. What does he think??????? ?

"Ispe se giru, ya uspe se????"

Then the day after that he sees a lot of banana peels on the road. So he calls home and tells his wife..

"AAj ghar late aaoonga!!"

After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed.

When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

Bush: Impossible does not come in my dictionary.. .
Santa: Phir dictionary dhek ke kharidni chahiye thi na. .

ekbar light gai hui thi.
SANTA : arre Banta bahuat garmi ho rahi hai, zara pankha lagana..
BANTA : kardi na sardaronwali baat!! pankha lagaya to moombatti bujh na jayegi??

Customer: Is mirror ki guarantee kya hai?
Santa : It is 99% safe.! 100 feet se fenkoge to 99 feet tak kuchh nahi hoga"!

Teacher to Santa " Where were U born?
Santa : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Santa : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.

Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have come again..

Santa complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Santa : I was watching TV na....

Thought for the Day!!!
If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sis and elder sis?

When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
Answer : On their Wedding !!

Whats the height of Intelligence?
Answer : A 99 year old Santa going for HUTCH ka naya lifetime scheme ..


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