Quote of the Day

management & engineers

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.

She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am", replied the man.

"How did you know?"

"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."

The man below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!"

BOTTOM LINE: just imagine the management guys who are basically engineers... no wonder!!!!!

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Engineers jokes

Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.

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Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.

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Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

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Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

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Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file, and that's what they did last year

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A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a software engineer are travelling in an old Fiat 500 when all of the sudden the car backfires and comes to a halt.

The mechanical engineer says "Ah! It's probably a problem with the valves, or the piston!".

The electrical engineer says "Nonsense! It's most probably a problem with the spark plugs or the battery!".

The software engineer says "How about we all get out of the car, and get back in again, It might work...".

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General KNOWLEDGE....

1. What is the expansion ( Full Form ) of YAHOO..?
Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle

2. What is the expansion ( Full Form ) of ADIDAS?
ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports

3. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?
Satellite Television Asian Region

4. What is expansion of "ICICI?"
Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India

5. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot - India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?
That match was abandoned after people heard the news of Indira Gandhi being killed.

6. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?
Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh- (Amar Sonar* *Bangla )

7. From what four word expression does the word `goodbye` derive?
Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.

8. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa

9. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?
South Korea

10. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?
Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , as it was known during the cold war)

11. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?
Geoffrey Boycott

12. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe ?
John Traicos

13. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican )?
Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa ..

14. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?
.. Polo.

A Policeman Testifies in Court

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility. ..

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

*********
The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" Line -- I think he'll win.

*********

Swami Vivekananda - The Universal Man

Swami Vivekananda - The Universal Man

Rarely does humanity witness a combination of a great Guru (Spiritual Teacher) and equally capable Shishya (spiritual disciple) as Sri Ramakrishna and Swami Vivekananda were.

The Upanishads and the Gita do mention of such noble pairs, when a yearning aspirant seeking higher knowledge humbly bows down to the Teacher and says, 'Sir, please tell me: Which is that thing which having been known, all this becomes known, and nothing else remains to be known? Give me that, acquiring which all desires nullify. O gracious one, I surrender at your feet; please tell me what is right for me.'


And the compassionate Teacher describes the nature of Self or Atman, starting as external reality and culminating into the true knowledge of our inner Self.

As the Guru speaks, so does the aspirant (sadhaka) experience the Truth contained in those words. It is as if a film on Brahman is being run in front of the yearning aspirant.

One such pair flourished in the last but one decade of nineteenth century, when Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa sculpted the most wonderful masterpiece in the form of Swami Vivekananda out of skeptical and rational, but fearless and dynamic Narendranath.

Their association has unleashed a tremendous spiritual force that has started destroying dreary ignorance covering the minds and hearts of mankind all over the globe.

Then, scientific knowledge based on reason and rationality was ushering in the era of Industrial Revolution; however, it also brought skepticism and contempt for religion.

Science appeared to be partial and sectarian in its study of various phenomena, for it tried to leave religion out of its purview. As a result the majority of people started believing that the goal of life was material progress alone.

Religion was on the defensive in the face of clattering advances of modern technology. Decline in religion (Dharma Glani) manifested as ritualistic monotony, crass materialism, and excessive engagement insense pleasures with resultant lack of discrimination and renunciation.

Values of kindness and generosity, of forbearance and simplicity were relegated to the back seat. The priests and the rulers, the rich and the privileged became the custodians of religious truths.

Selfishness replaced altruism, and religious fanaticism erupted as a legitimate weapon to spread "true religion" and destroy "false beliefs".

Such states of decline in Dharma come in cycles. However, as the Gita says, a Man of God also comes on the scene to destroy wickedness and to reestablish the path of spirituality. These great seers and teachers come to'set in motion the wheel of dharma,' as did Lord Buddha 2500 years ago.

Such incarnations come from time to time, in every era, in every land, and help revive the noble path of transcendental realization as the source and proofof Knowledge and Truth. They give the sagging wheel of spirituality apowerful push for moving it again in right direction.

In recent times world faced such a situation when, to revive the declining faith in religion and to instill knowledge of the true goal of humankind, Swami Vivekananda entered the world arena as a great disciple of Sri Ramakrishna.

Swami Vivekananda revived Hinduism on the basis of the interpretations and meaning given to the philosophy of Vedanta by great Rishis at varioustime- periods of history. The externals of Hinduism appear to change from SriRama to Sri Krishna, from Sri Chaitannya to Sri Ramakrishna, but the core ofSanatana Dharma (Eternal Religion) remains the same.

Swami Vivekananda preached the essence of religion by way of finding newer insights in and application of Eternal Religion as per the requirement of modern times and global perspective.

He highlighted the truth of the 'divinity of each soul' and the constant struggle and evolution of an individual to manifest this divinity fully. Transcendental realization of our true nature, I.e. Pure consciousness, is what Hinduism (Vedanta) preaches right through the eternity.

This is the essential teaching mentioned and elaborated in the Upanishads, the Gita, and the Brahma-sutras. The attempt to realize this truth is the beginning of religion, and getting established in transcendental divine state is the aim of human birth.

Every person succeeding in this attempt is the basis and hope for fresh human endeavour and struggle for self-realization in future.

10 LAWS OF COMPUTING

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.

7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

Wacky Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.

BUMPER STICKERS FOR WOMEN

1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,SEEKS FROG.

6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.

11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE... WHO CARES?

12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES

13. AND YOUR POINT IS?

14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.

17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

*************

10 Ways to Propose to Girl

1. Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back
"You're under arrest!"
For what?
"For stealing my heart."

2. Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?

3. are your legs tired?
girl: Why?
because you have been running through my mind all day!

4. "I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?"

5. Can you give me directions to your heart? I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes.

6. Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt, jacket, etc.
She would say,"What are doing"
resond,"Oh, just checking to see if you were made in Heaven."

7. Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.
"I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are."

8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

9. Walk up to a guy and say: "Are you from Greece?"
"No" he answers.
"Oh, I thought all the gods were from Greece"

10. GEE I FEEL LIKE RICHARD GERE STANDING BESIDE YOU ........... PRETTY WOMEN.

LOVE INSPIRATIONAL TEXT

This is something we should all read at least once a week.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'. I'm in the 7%. Remember that I will always share my spoon with you!

His and Her Diaries

1. HER DIARY

Saturday night I thought he was acting weird.

We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too.

When we got home I felt as if had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed, about 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts where Somewhere else.

I decided that I could not take it anymore so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do, I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

2 - HIS DIARY

Today INDIA lost match. Bad Luck...

pink curtain

A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman,

"I would like To buy a pair of pink curtains". The salesman assures her that they have a large election of pink curtains.

He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly replies, "fifteen inches" "Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman.

"That sounds very small, what room are they for?" The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room; they are for her computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "but Miss, computers do not need curtains!"

The blonde says, "Hellllooooooooo ............ . I've got Windoooooows!"

Mouse Balls And Mouse Ball inspector

I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face.

This was a real memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness.

It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem.

The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last couple of sentences.

"If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, a replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive.

However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.

Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer."

What a Woman Wants in a Man

What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover
*******
What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 32)

1. Nice Looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at restaurant
4. Listens more than he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry in all the groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers Birthdays and Anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
*******
What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 42)

1. Not too ugly - bald head OK
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on most weekends
*******
What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm emoting
5. Doesn't re-tell same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on Weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV Dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves on some weekends
*******
What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep)
5. Doesn't forgets why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers when...

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 72)

1. Breathing

sunday school

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

Does Management know their Staff ?

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the

Company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such

A personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed

$6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here

I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,

"And that applies to everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"

For a Change

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.

They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.

After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left, "Would you care to do it again?"

He asks her "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head."

*******

The Boss

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."Pfufffff and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back right now ." Pfuffff ……….:p

Lesson :- ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST

Cough it up

A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a Ruppe coin.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and gasping for breath. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a Tea stall in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of Tea.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her Tea cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, she hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the Tea stall without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

"No," the woman replied, "I work for the Income Tax Dept."

*******

Friendship Day Gift Ideas

Friendship Day Gifts play a significant role in strengthening the relationship you share with your loved ones. Friendship Gifts must therefore be selected with love and care. A friendship present need not be precious and expensive ones but it must definitely exude love and warmth you feel for your friend. In case you are finding it hard to decide a perfect Friendship Gift for your best friend, here some popular Friendship Day Gift ideas just for you.

Friendship Bands
Friendship Band is one of the most popular Friendship Gift. Many colorful friendship bands hit the stores much ahead of Friendship Day. Instead of the conventional wristbands, one can go for the friendship bracelets which come in attractive designs for both boys and girls. This way your Friendship Day can stay longer with your friends besides it works as token of your love.

Flowers
Fresh Flowers are the best and the easiest way to convey emotions and hence they make a wonderful gift for friends. If you are invited for a Friendship Day do, carry an attractive bouquet of pretty flowers for that heart touching impact. Ideally, you must choose your friends favorite flower. In case your friend does not have a specific choice, you may safely go in for Yellow Roses as these are officially recognized as the Friendship Day flowers

Show Pieces
Cute and attractive show pieces are another extremely popular Friendship Day Gift. Depending upon your choice one can go in for glass, metals, wood, paper mache or crystal show pieces. Besides, making a delightful Friendship Day Gift, decorative pieces help to create beautiful memories.

Chocolates
Chocolates makes a yummy and delicious Friendship Day gift for foodies. Go in for a hamper of your friend's favorite chocolate to bring that million dollar smile on his/her face. A zestful idea would be to make a decorated friendship basket consisting of your friend's favorite gift items like chocolates, candy, cookies, a bunch of flowers, etc.

Soft Toys
Soft Toys make a cute Friendship gift. They are especially appreciated by girls who love to decorate their rooms with loads of soft toys and animals gifted by their loved ones. Go in for your friends favorite cartoon character to leave a lasting impression.

Photo Frames and Photo Albums
Photo frames and photo albums are a much sought after Friendship Day Gift. You may place a picture of you along with your friend or pictures of good time spend together to create beautiful memories.

Books, CDs
Books make a thoughtful Friendship Gift idea for friends fond of reading. But it is important to keep in mind the choice of your friend while selecting the book. Generally, you may give books of quotes or inspirational books.

Alternatively, you may gift music cassettes or CDs to friends fond of music. You may also give personalized CD by recording your friends favorite songs or songs that both of you enjoy. Games CDs are also a popular Friendship Day gift these days.

Stationery
Stationery items like pens, diaries, letter or writing pad, planner, organizer etc make a wonderful Friendship Gift. Besides, one can gift utility items like watch, key rings, pen stand, telephone index, electronic notebook and so forth.

Cooooool quotes

say no to drugs, they just don't listen.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

Born free, taxed to death.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Someday is not a day of the week.

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