Telegram

It may be hard to believe, but in the days not so long ago, instant
communication as we know it today did not exist. No one had an internet
connection or a cellular phone. There was no such thing as e-mail, Facebook,
texting or Twitter.

Oh, there were telephones, but no answering machines or call forwarding, and
of course no visual copies and telephone messages could be misunderstood.
Telephone messages in those forgotten days were sent across wires which were
strung across city streets and highways throughout the nation. There were no
underground cables or satellites to transmit phone calls.

This problem had been solved by a company known as Western Union, With
offices in every city and using the telephone lines messages could be sent
in a series of dots and dashes called Morse Code. These would be printed out
in a hard copy called a telegram and usually delivered to the recipient by
hand very similar to home delivery of pizza today. These messages were known
as telegrams.

Telegrams were charged by the word and like twitter today were of necessity
short. Errors frequently occurred. Here are a few examples of telegrams gone
wrong.

Telegram 1

A husband, while on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to
his wife - "I wish you were here."

The message received by wife - "I wish you were her."

Telegram 2

A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her
husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last
ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered
her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached
as - "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an
old lady."

Telegram 3

A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes
to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put
on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says let's put,
"You are not getting older you are getting better."

The salesman asks, "how do you want me to put it?"

The man says, "You are not getting older, at the top and you are getting
better, at the bottom."

The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched
the message decorated on the cake -

"You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the
bottom."