Quote of the Day

The Rose Within

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it.

He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.

We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.

This is one of the characteristic of love... to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life... all the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the "rose" within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.

Love and Time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,
"Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

Sand and Stone

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND, AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE

Really mean insults

1. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!

2. He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

4. I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

5. At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face!

6. Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing

7. Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!

8. I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.

9. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

10. If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents!

11. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

12. Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

13. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

14. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

15. Don't think, it may sprain your brain!

16. Fellows like you don't grow from trees; they swing from them.

17. He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.

18. He has a mind like a steel trap, always closed!

19. You are a man of the world and you know what sad shape the world is in.

20. He is always lost in thought it's unfamiliar territory.

21. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

22. He is known as a miracle comic. if he's funny, it's a miracle!

23. He is listed in Who's Who as What's That?

24. He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

25. He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.

26. He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

27. How come you're here? I thought the zoo is closed at night!

28. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

29. How much refund do you expect on your head now that it's empty.

30. How would you like to feel the way you look?Â

31. Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?

32. I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in the next 10 years?

33. I don't want you to turn the other cheek; it's just as ugly.

34. I don't know who you are, but whatever you are, I'm sure everyone will agree with me.

35. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

36. I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

37. I can't seem to remember your name, and please don't help me!

38. I don't even like the people you're trying to imitate, if you are at all.

39. I know you were born silly, but why did you have a relapse?

40. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!

41. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!

42. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

43. Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that's very typical of you.

44. Do u practice being this ugly?

Is H2O a Dangerous Chemical ?

A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." H2O

And for plenty of good reasons, since:

1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

Forty-three (43) said yes,
six (6) were undecided,
and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.

The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?"

He feels the conclusion is obvious.

Funny Questions and Answers

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

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Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.

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Q. Approximately how many birthdays does the average Japanese woman have?
A. Just one. All the others are anniversaries.

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Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.

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Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

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Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. He sleeps at night.

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Q. Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today?
A: Because he is dead.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A: It becomes wet.

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Q. What often falls but never gets hurt?
A : Rain

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Q. What is that no man ever saw which never was but always will be?
A : TOMORROW

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Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half.

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Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.

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Q. What gets wet with drying?
A : A towel

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Q. What 3 letters change a girl into a woman?
A : AGE.

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Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.

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Q. Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
A : Because it has its own scales.

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Q. Why does a bike rest on its leg?
A : Because it is too tyred.

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Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state
A : liquid

Fun classroom psychology tests.

A psychology professor at the University of Miami knew his students expected a terrifyingly long final exam.

To play with their minds a little (what do you expect from a psychology professor?) he only put ONE question on the final exam.

He watched the reactions of the students as they all opened the exams and saw the one question.

Initially they all looked relieved, but as the difficulty of the question began to sink in, those relieved faces sagged to confusion and consternation.

All, that is, except for one student.

He read the question, tapped his pencil into his palm a few times, then jotted something down on the test paper.

He walked up to the professor, handed him the final, and walked out.

The professor blinked in surprise, looked at what the student wrote, and smiled.

The professor wrote "100%" on the top of that student's test.


The question: What is courage?

The student's answer: This is.

Touching life story.....

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily,he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things.When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible.It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation,and the words...PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

couple of moral stories

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered, "Sure , why not."

So the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

wind

A priest is playing golf, followed by his devoted caddie. He takes a swing and hits the ball. But while in the air, the wind starts to blow and the balls falls in a lake. The priest, very mad, says, "damn wind!!"

The caddie, surprised, says, "Sir, please, why did you say such profanity?

The priest asks the caddie to forgive him, gets on his knees and prays for forgiveness from God. A little later, the priest hits another good drive. Again, the wind starts to blow and this time the ball falls in the woods. The priest
sighs and again, says : "damn wind!!"

The caddie, just as surprised as the first time, says, "Sir, please, do stop saying such profanity!"

The priest then looks at his caddie, and raises his hands towards the sky, asking God to forgive him.

Suddenly, the sky covers with grey and dark clouds, there's a clap of thunder, and a lightning bolt strikes the caddie to death. Thepriest, not believing his eyes, falls to his knees and screams to the sky : "Oh Lord, what has this poor man done to make you so mad? God, I am the one who sinned! My poor caddie did not deserve such a death!"

Then, a loud roar came from the sky. The priest hid his head under his arms, scared of dying, only to hear a loud voice say, "damn wind!!!!"

Thinking Fast

Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags.

He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well dressed man when he got to the luggage carousel.

Mr. Smith walked over to the fellow and pointed out the colored ribbons tied to the handle, and the fluorescent tape on the sides.

"I believe that luggage is mine. Were your bags marked like this?", he asked.

"Actually", the man replied, "I was wondering who did this to my luggage."

Fabulous...........!!!!!!!!!!

Napoleon said..

"The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because
of the silence of good people!"

Michael Paul said..

I wrote on the door of heart, "Please do not enter"
Love came smiling and said: "Sorry I am an illiterate"

Einstein said..

"I am thankful to all those who said NO to me It’s Because of them I did it myself.

Abraham Lincoln said..

"If friendship is your weakest point then you are the strongest person in the
world."

Shakespeare said..

"Laughing Faces Do Not Mean That There Is Absence Of Sorrow!But It Means That
They Have The Ability To Deal With It"

Shakespeare said..

"In The Times Of Crisis I Was Not Hurt By The Harsh Words Of My Enemies, But By
The Silence Of My Friends".

Shakespeare said..

"Never Play With The Feelings Of Others Because You May Win The Game But You
Will Surely Lose The Person For Life Time"

Shakespeare said..

"Coin Always Makes Sound But The Currency Notes Are Always Silent. So When Your
Value Increases Keep Yourself Calm Silent"

William Arthur said..

"Opportunities Are Like Sunrises, If You Wait Too Long You Can Miss Them"

Hitler said..

"When You Are In The Light, Everything Follows You,
But When You Enter Into The Dark, Even Your Own Shadow Doesn’t Follow You"

Shiv Khera..

"If We Are Not Part Of The Solutions, We Are The Big Problems""Winners Never Do
The Different Things, They Do The Things Differently".

John Keats said..

"It Is Very Easy To Defeat Someone,
But It Is Very Hard To Win Someone"

The Zen of Consumer Guidance Labels

1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE
MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids -LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.

12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR ENITALS.

21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

Success Does Not Happen In Isolation

There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honor and prizes. One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt something interesting about how he grew it.

The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors'.

"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they
are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.

"Why sir, "said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the
ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior,
sub-standard and poor quality corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the
quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow
good corn."

The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbor's corn also improves.

So it is in the other dimensions! Those who choose to be at harmony must help their neighbors and colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well.

The value of a life is measured by the lives it touches.

Success does not happen in isolation. It is very often a participative and collective process.

So share the good practices, ideas, new learning's with your family, team members, neighbors'.

Safeway

A new Safeway Supermarket just opened in Colorado Springs. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and brauts.

In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Bud Lite.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is
filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

*I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.*

On a ship

On a ship an American, a Russian, and an Indian (sardar) were sailing. Suddenly a devil appeared and said, "Drop something in the sea, if I find it I will eat you... If I cant then I will be your slave!"

American dropped a diamond... Devil found it and ate him. Russian dropped small platinum piece... Devil found it and ate him too.

Now its sardarji's turn. Before knowing what sardar did,take a moment to think what would you do if you
were in place of sardar.
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Lets see if your thought meets with sardar?
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Scroll down for the answer
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Sardar opened a water bottle and poured some water in the sea and asked to find it


Devil fainted!!
Wow!!!!!! what an Idea SARDAR JI

One Step

Foolish people with all their other thoughts, have this one too: They are always getting ready to live, but never living.

Your success will start when you begin to pursue it. To reach your goal or to attain success, you don’t need to know all of the answers in advance. You just need to have a clear idea of what your goal is.

Don’t procrastinate when faced with difficult problems. Break your problems into parts, and handle one part at a time.

Develop tendencies toward taking action. You can make something happen right now. Divide your big plan into small steps and take that first step right away.

Everyone who ever got where they are had to begin where they were. Your big opportunity is where you are right now.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Take it.

DON’T HOPE,…DECIDE!

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about — the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me.

Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other’s face, I heard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!” His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, “Me, too, Dad!”

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son’s face in his hands said, “You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!” They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.

While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, “I’ve saved the best for last!” and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. “I love you so much!” They stared at each other’s eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.

For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn’t possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm’s length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, “Wow! How long have you two been married?

“Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those.” he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face. “Well then, how long have you been away?” I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. “Two whole days!”

Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he’d been gone for at least several weeks – if not months. I know my expression betrayed me.

I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), “I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!”

The man suddenly stopped smiling.

He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, “Don’t hope, friend… decide!” Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, “God bless!”

Great marriage story

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

The house with the golden windows

he little girl lived in a small, very simple, poor house on a hill and as she grew she would play in the small garden and as she grew she was able to see over the garden fence and across the valley to a wonderful house high on the hill – and this house had golden windows, so golden and shining that the little girl would dream of how magic it would be to grow up and live in a house with golden windows instead of an ordinary house like hers.

And although she loved her parents and her family, she yearned to live in such a golden house and dreamed all day about how wonderful and exciting it must feel to live there.

When she got to an age where she gained enough skill and sensibility to go outside her garden fence, she asked her mother is she could go for a bike ride outside the gate and down the lane. After pleading with her, her mother finally allowed her to go, insisting that she kept close to the house and didn’t wander too far. The day was beautiful and the little girl knew exactly where she was heading! Down the lane and across the valley, she rode her bike until she got to the gate of the golden house across on the other hill.

As she dismounted her bike and lent it against the gate post, she focused on the path that lead to the house and then on the house itself…and was so disappointed as she realized all the windows were plain and rather dirty, reflecting nothing other than the sad neglect of the house that stood derelict.

So sad she didn’t go any further and turned, heart broken as she remounted her bike … As she glanced up she saw a sight to amaze her…there across the way on her side of the valley was a little house and its windows glistened golden …as the sun shone on her little home.

She realized that she had been living in her golden house and all the love and care she found there was what made her home the ‘golden house’. Everything she dreamed was right there in front of her nose!

The mouse trap

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. “What food might this contain?” the mouse wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning: “There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!”

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said “Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it.”

The mouse turned to the pig and told him “There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!” The pig sympathized, but said “I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers.”

The mouse turned to the cow and said “There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!” The cow said “Wow, Mr. Mouse. I’m sorry for you, but it’s no skin off my nose.”

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer’s mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house – like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer’s wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer’s wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup’s main ingredient. But his wife’s sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer’s wife did not get well; she died. So many! people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness. So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn’t concern you, remember: when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another. Each of us is a vital thread in another person’s tapestry.

My mom only had one eye

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed.

How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, ‘EEEE, your mom only has one eye!’

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, ‘ If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?’

My mom did not respond… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.

I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, ‘How dare you come to my house and scare my children!’ GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!’

And to this, my mother quietly answered, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,’ and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

‘My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.

I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.

You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,

Your mother.

Simple Tips to Motivate Yourself to Exercise

You know you need to work out, but your're having trouble getting up the enthusiasm. How do you find motivation to exercise when you just don't feel like getting off your butt? I ask myself this question every now and then, and I have the feeling I'm not the only one.

There are a million ways to motivate yourself to exercise, actually, but these are a few that have worked for me.

* Have fun. If you hate running, don't go to the track for exercise. Find something you like. The list of different kinds of exercises are nearly endless. The only really important thing is to get your body moving and your heart rate up.

* How you feel after a workout. I always feel great after a good workout. Its a high. And I let that motivate me the next time.

* Calories burned. If you count calories (and its really one of the most effective ways to lose weight), you know that the more you exercise, the more calories you burn — and the bigger your calorie deficit.

* How your're going to look. Imagine a slimmer, fitter you. Now let that visualization drive you.

* Change it up. Even if you have a routine you enjoy, mix it up from time to time. Try entirely different exercises. You can check out a tape at the library and try yoga or kick boxing for an afternoon. This will not only keep you interested, it will break your muscles out of their routine and help produce better results.

* Get a buddy. Exercising with a friend introduces a positive kind of peer pressure. You will be more likely to go to the gym if you know someone is waiting there for you. Talking and laughing while exercising will also keep you from being bored.

* An exercise log/graph. For some reason, writing it down is extremely important. Really. Do it for a week and youll see what I mean.

* Get appropriate clothing. If you don't have the appropriate clothes for the exercise, it can be irritating, uncomfortable, frustrating, or even unsafe. If you exercise outside after dusk, be sure you have reflective clothing to prevent traffic accidents. Also be sure the clothing looks nice; if you don't like the way your clothing looks, you may feel uncomfortable, and less likely to exercise.

* Pack Ahead of Time: An iPod, athletic shoes, a towel whatever. Walking around the house trying to find stuff is a good time to lose your resolve. Put everything together in your gym bag. When you finish working out, take out things that need to be laundered and replace them immediately.

* Have a Goal. What do you want to achieve? Make it specific, make it meaningful, make it obtainable. Be sure to have short-term benchmarks along the way. Its OK to change your goals if the original plan doesn't work, but have a goal. Regularly evaluate how you are doing on your goals.

* Success stories. I find the success stories of others incredibly inspirational. If a fitness website has success stories, Ill almost always read them.

* Reward Yourself. Have a healthy reward when you reach a goal. Buy yourself that cute pair of bike shorts. Go for a weekend hiking tri. Soak in the sauna for your workout that day. Buy a new yoga video. Whatever works for you to celebrate in line with your healthy lifestyle!

Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers, continue reading....
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women think they're so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

MARRIAGE: AN EVERLASTING BOND OF LOVE

1.Cheer leader: Support your spouse in every way you can .Let your partner know how important he or she is to you and rest of the world.

2.Learn to compromise: Compromise is a part of daily living in marriage. No one can have it his or her way. Discuss how two of you can make decisions. Establish a plan to work through important issues until you find a mutually agreeable solution.

3.Carry burden of your marriage on four shoulders; not just two.Learn to sense when your spouse needs help. Even when he or she does not ask for it. Helpfulness should become such matter of habit that you will feel and act like a winning team.

4.Communicate constantly: Couples must talk about everything and anything. In successful marriage life there are no secrets.

5.Never go to bed mad: you may have a long night but by resolving problems, will have a goodnight sleep.

6.Successful relations are about mutual love and respect. Habits can be formed for either good or ill, so why not make a habit to always treat your spouse the way you wanted to be treated?

7.Give spouse freedom to be: Respect individuality of your spouse. Your partner is a complex individual with many interests, desires, ideas habits and experiences. Don't narrowly define your mate's capabilities.

8.The absolute need for privacy and time alone is a fundamental predisposition of every human being alone so if one partner needs to stay alone, respect it instead of getting angry.

9.Taking care of your partner's health also along with Yourself is another aspect of a successful marriage.

10.Smile and laugh together often. It is the simplest of expressions with most powerful effect.

11.A successful relationship is exciting, full of surprises, and rarely boring. Don't always do that which is boring. Variety is spice of life.

12.Always remember that the person you love is human being too. In times of challenges and disappointments, do you best to be compassionate and forgiving.

GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE

Good morning!
At present we are not at home but, please leave your message after you hear
the beep.

beeeeeppp ...

If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 8:

If you need us to stay with the children, press 1

If you want to borrow the car, press 2

If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 3

If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 4

If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 5

If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your
home, press 6

If you want to come to eat here, press 7

If you need money, press 8

If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theater,start talking;

we can hear you!

Temper control

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said "you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one."

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there.

Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

The horse that wanted more beauty

A cosmic god had a horse. The horse was beautiful and also it had many good qualities. But it wanted to be more perfect in every way. It especially wanted to become beauty unparalleled.

One day the horse said to the cosmic god, "0 Lord, you have given me beauty. You have given me other good qualities. I am so grateful to you. But how I wish you could make me more beautiful. I would be extremely, extremely grateful if you could make me more beautiful."

The cosmic god said, "I am more than ready to make you more beautiful. Tell me in what way you want to be changed."

The horse said, "It seems to me that I am not well proportioned. My neck is too short. If you can make my neck a little longer, my upper body will be infinitely more beautiful. And if you can make my legs much longer and thinner, then I will look infinitely more beautiful in my lower body."

The cosmic god said, "Amen!" Then immediately he made a camel appear in place of the horse. The horse was so disheartened that it started to cry, "0 Lord, I wanted to become more beautiful. In what way is this kind of outer form more beautiful?"

The cosmic god said, "This is exactly what you asked for. You have become a camel."

The horse cried, "Oh no, I do not want to become a camell I wish to remain a horse. As a horse, everybody appreciated my good qualities. Nobody will appreciate me as a camel."

The cosmic god said, "Never try to achieve or receive more than I have given you. If you want to lead a desire-life, then at every moment you will want more and more. But you have no idea what the outcome will be. If you cry for a longer neck and legs, this is what will happen. Each thing in my creation has its own good qualities. The camel is not as beautiful as you are, but it carries heavy loads and has a tremendous sense of responsibility.

A 12 Dollar Lesson

A cab driver taught me a million dollar lesson in customer satisfaction and expectation. Motivational speakers charge thousands of dollars to impart his kind of training to corporate executives and staff. It cost me a $12 taxi ride.

I had flown into Dallas for the sole purpose of calling on a client. Time was of the essence and my plan included a quick turnaround trip from and back to the airport. A spotless cab pulled up.

The driver rushed to open the passenger door for me and made sure I was comfortably seated before he closed the door. As he got in the driver's seat, he mentioned that the neatly folded Wall Street Journal next to me for my use. He then showed me several tapes and asked me what type of music I would enjoy.

Well! I looked around for a "Candid Camera!" Wouldn't you? I could not believe the service I was receiving! I took the opportunity to say, "Obviously you take great pride in your work. You must have a story to tell."

"You bet," he replied, "I used to be in Corporate America. But I got tired of thinking my best would never be good enough. I decided to find my niche in life where I could feel proud of being the best I could be.

I knew I would never be a rocket scientist, but I love driving cars, being of service and feeling like I have done a full day's work and done it well. I evaluate my personal assets and... wham! I became a cab driver.

One thing I know for sure, to be good in my business I could simply just meet the expectations of my passengers. But, to be GREAT in my business, I have to EXCEED the customer's expectations! I like both the sound and the return of being 'great' better than just getting by on 'average'"

Did I tip him big time? You bet! Corporate America's loss is the traveling folk's friend!

Lessons:
Go an Extra Mile when providing any Service to others.
There is no good or bad job. You can make any job good.
Good service always brings good return.

Nothing is more beautiful than.....

A little boy sat with his parents in their cozy home.

He said to his mother, "Mama, you have the kindest, prettiest face in the world! I wish I could look at it forever!"

As he uttered these words, his glance fell on her hands. They were twisted out of shape, badly deformed.

"Why mama!" he exclaimed, "Yours must be the ugliest hands in the world! I can't bear to look at them!"

The father took the little boy on his knees.

"Let me tell you a story," he said gently. "Once upon a time, there was a little boy who was sleeping peacefully in his cradle when the cradle caught fire."

"What happened to the baby?" asked the boy.

"The nurse who was suppose to take care of the baby, ran away in alarm," the father continued. "But the mother saw the fire and rushed to save the baby. She found it was impossible to lift the baby though the surrounding flames, without hurting him. So she beat the fire out with her own hands.

"Her hands were badly burnt. It took months before they could heal. Even then, they were left badly scarred."

"What a brave mother!" the little boy exclaimed.

"Do you know who she was?" the father asked. "She was your mother! Her disfigured, scarred hands were the ones that saved your life!"

The little boy turned to his mother with tear touched eyes and kissed her hands, again and again.

"Mummy, these are the prettiest hands in the world!" he said, through his tears. Indeed, there is nothing more beautiful than a mother's love!

Tension

What is Tension?

A beautiful girl asks lift from you. On the way she faints and you
take her to hospital.
Doctor says ‘Congrats. You are going to become a father.’

THAT’S IT. YOU GET TENSED.
You say – ‘But that baby is not mine.’
Girl says – ‘he is only the father of my baby.’

YOU HAVE MORE TENSION.
Police comes and DNA test is done. Report comes. Which says that you
can never become a father.

EVEN MORE TENSION FOR YOU.
Anyhow you thank God and return home. Then you think, “At home I
have 2 kids. Whose are those?”

THIS IS REAL TENSION.

10 Rules For A Good Day

1. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK:
If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind...I will not respond in a like manner.

2. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY "ENEMY":
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask God to bless that individual. I understand the "enemy" could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker, or a stranger.

3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY:
I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not spread gossip.

4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE:
I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.

5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE:
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.

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6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE, BUT I WILL NOT DO IT SECRETLY:
I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.

7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE TREATED:
I will practice the golden rule - "Do unto others as I would have them do unto me" - with everyone I encounter.

8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEONE I DISCOURAGED:
My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the difference to someone who is wrestling life.

9. TODAY I WILL NUTURE MY BODY:
I will eat less; I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for my body.

10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY:
I will spend a little more time in prayer today: I will begin reading something spiritual or inspirational today; I will find a quiet place (at some point during the day)!

Gandhi Ji Goes to Heaven

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time on earth.
He replied, “I had three!”
God was very Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted.
God gave Shastri a Mercedes!

Subhash Chandra Bose was asked the same question.
When he replied that he had 10 children
God was a bit upset and gave him a cheaper car, the Ford.

The next is Jawaharlal.He decided to see what happens if he says he had 15 children.
God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.

After Sometime, the three saw Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot.
They ask why God hadn’t given him anything
Gandhiji replied with anger,
“Some idiot told God that I was the father of a nation!“

Efficiency expert

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.

"You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience.

"Well, I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time.

'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"

The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?"

The expert replied,

"Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get my breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."

Mountain Story

"A son and his father were walking on the mountains.
Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain:"AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"
He receives the answer: "Who are you?"
And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"
The voice answers: "I admire you!"
Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"
He receives the answer: "Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"
The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."
Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"
The voice answers: "You are a champion!"
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.
It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.
If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.
If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.
This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;
Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!"

What is Love and What is Marriage…? ??!!!

What is Love and What is Marriage…? ??!!!

A student asks a teacher, “What is love?”

The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.

But the rule is: –

you can go through them only once & cannot turn back to pick.”

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders….may be there is a bigger one later.

Then he saw another bigger one… but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, “…this is love… you keep looking for better ones, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person ….”*

*”What is marriage then?” the student asked.

The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.

But the rule is:

you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium sized corn that he felt satisfied, and came back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, “this time you bring back a corn…. you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get…. this is marriage.”

Two Blind Pilots

Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into t heir magazines, secure in the knowledge that the pl ane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,"ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

Medical Problem

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

The Two Frogs

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop,
that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?” The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

This story teaches two lessons:

1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.

2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.
Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words… it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.

Selected Great Quotes

A room without books is like a body without a soul.
- Cicero

A sharp tongue sometimes cuts its own throat.
- Jim Scancarelli

A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.
- William Shedd

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work.
- Chuck Close

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made, in a very narrow field.
- Niels Bohr

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn Vos Savant

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
- Cyril Connelly

Children are like mosquitoes. The minute they stop making a noise, you know they’re getting into something.

It takes less time to do the right thing than to explain why you did it wrong.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
- William Wallace

He who talks without thinking runs more risks than he who thinks without talking.

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
- Chinese Proverb

If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.
- Stephen R. Covey

Something to Share

Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a “steering wheel” that directs the right path throughout.

Do you know why a Car’s WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rearview Mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. Look Ahead and Move on.

Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don’t worry, they can’t last long either.

Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don’t forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!

Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, sweetheart, it’s just a bend, not the end!

When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn’t solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

A blind person asked Swami Vivekanand: “Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?” He replied: “Yes, losing your vision!”

When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

WORRYING does not take away tomorrows‘ TROUBLES, it takes away todays’ PEACE.

Secret Behind Happy Married Life

Once X asked Y, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?” Y said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”

X asked, “Can you explain?” Y said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”

Still not convinced, X asked Y “Give me some examples” Y said, “Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it”

X asked, “Then what is your role?” Y said, “My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these”.

The Trouble Tree

I hired a carpenter to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the
job…a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit…and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching tips of the branches with his hands.

When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

“Oh, that’s my trouble tree,” he replied.

“I know I can’t help having troubles on the job and in my life, but one thing’s for sure, troubles don’t belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again.”

“Funny thing is,” he smiled, “When I come out in the morning to pick ‘em up, there aren’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.”

Selected Quotes about Love

“Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes

“Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do.”
David Wilkerson

“Love is the flower you’ve got to let grow.”
John Lennon

“Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.”
St. Augustine

“Love is when each person is more concerned for the other than for one’s self.”
David Frost

“A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.”
Fr. Jerome Cummings

“All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand.”
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

“Where love is concerned, too much is not even enough. ”
Pierre de Beaumarchais

“Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.”
Kahlil Gibran

“The first duty of love is to listen.”
Paul Tillich

“The love we give away is the only love we keep.”
Elbert Green Hubbard

“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.”
Thomas Fuller

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
Franklin P. Jones

“Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same.”
Helen Keller

The Burning Hut

The only survivor of a shipwreck washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.
The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stung with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.
"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

Remember next time your little hut is burning to the ground - - it just
may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

I Am Thankful For.......

-The mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

-The taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed.

-The clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat

-My shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

-A lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.

-All the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.

-The spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

-My huge heating bill because it means I am warm.

-The lady behind me in temple who sings off key because it means that I can hear.

-The piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby.

-Weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.

-The alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I'm alive.

Wonderful Quotes

1. If you feel far away from God, guess who moved?
2. Fear knocked. Faith answered. No one was there.
3. What you are is God's Gift to you. What you become is your gift to God.
4. I am God's Melody of life and He Sings His Song through me.
5. We can never really go where God is not, and where He is, all is well.
6. No matter what is happening in your life, know that God is waiting for you with open arms.
7. God Promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
8. Do your best and then sleep in peace. God is Awake.
9. God has a Purpose and Plan for me that no one else can fulfill.
10. The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
11. We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.
12. We set the sail; God makes the wind.
13. Begin to weave and God will give you the thread.
14. When God says "no", it's because He has something better in store for you.
15. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
16. Prayer: don't bother to give God instructions, just report for duty.
17. It's my business to do God's Business and it's His Business to take care of my business.
18. Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.
19. How come you're always running around looking for God? He's not lost.
20. God put me on earth to accomplish a number of things; right now I'm so far behind I will live forever.

Love In Action

One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children. They have not eaten for days," I took some food and I went. When I finally came to the family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured by hunger. There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger. I gave the rice to the mother. She divided it in two, and went out, carrying half the rice with her. When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" She gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors-they are hungry also."

I was not surprised that she gave--because poor people are generous. But I was surprised that she knew they were hungry. As a rule, when we are suffering, we are so focused on ourselves we have no time for others.
--Mother Teresa

FUNNY HUSBAND v/s WIFE

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever

************ ********* ********* *********

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.

************ ********* ********* *********

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you

************ ********* ********* *********

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.

************ ** ******* ********* *********

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents

************ ********* ********* *********

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

BEST MESSAGE FOR LIFE

My mother used to ask me what the most important part of the body is.
Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct Answer.

When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, 'My ears, Mommy.'

She said, 'No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.'

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer.

So this time I told her, 'Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.'

She looked at me and told me, 'You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.'

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years,
Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, 'No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child.'

Then one year, my grandfather died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried.

I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry.
My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to my Grandfather.

She asked me, 'Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?'
I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me.

She saw the confusion on my face and told me, 'This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life.
For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why.

But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.'
She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said,
'My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.'

I asked, 'Is it because it holds up my head?'

She replied, 'No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry.
Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends
that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.'

Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is made for others and not for yourself. It is sympathetic to the pain of others.

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did .. But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.

DON'T CHANGE THE WORLD

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he was back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather.

Definitely, this would need thousands of cows’ skin, and would cost a huge amount of money. Then one of his wise servants dared himself to tell the king, “Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money? Why don’t you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet?”

The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a “shoe” for himself.

Moral of the Story:
There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story: to make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your heart; and not the world.

A Matter of Trust

During a flight between New York and Chicago, the captain made this announcement over the plane's intercom: "Our number four engine has just been shut off because of mechanical trouble.

There is nothing to worry about, however, we can still finish the flight with just three engines, and besides, you will be reassured to know that we have four bishops on board."

An 86-year-old woman called the flight attendant and said, "Would you please tell the captain that I would rather have four engines and three bishops!" Experience taught her to place her trust in the aircraft rather than passengers -- regardless how religious they may seem!

Experience, likewise, has taught us to be careful of what and whom we trust. We learn to be careful trusting risky investments, offers to make easy money, people we don't know, and anything that seems "too good to be true." We are sometimes even afraid to trust ourselves!

Helen Keller learned a great deal about trust in her life as one who was both sightless and deaf. She learned to trust people, upon whom she was often dependent. She learned to trust herself and lived a highly productive life in spite of her handicapping conditions. As a noted writer and thinker, she taught us that trust is vital to any happy life.

Helen Keller believed there are four great things to learn in life. They are:

1. To think clearly without hurry or confusion;
2. To love everyone sincerely;
3. To act in everything with the highest motives; and
4. To trust God unhesitatingly.

Moral of the Story:
Trust. It is a small word which can make a big difference.

The Ant and The Dove

One hot day, an ant was searching for some water. After walking around for some time, she came to a spring.

To reach the spring, she had to climb up a blade of grass. While making her way up, she slipped and fell into the water. She could have drowned if a dove up a nearby tree had not seen her. Seeing that the ant was in trouble, the dove quickly plucked off a leaf and dropped it into the water near the struggling ant. The ant moved towards the leaf and climbed up there. Soon it carried her safely to dry ground.

Just at that time, a hunter nearby was throwing out his net towards the dove, hoping to trap it.

Guessing what he was about to do, the ant quickly bit him on the heel. Feeling the pain, the hunter dropped his net. The dove was quick to fly away to safety.

Moral of the Story:
One good turn deserves another.

Reasons, Seasons, Lifetime Friendships

People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (any way); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Shayari

Na jeene ki tamaana hai na marne ka khauf.
The number you are trying is currently switched off.

Deadly Delhi Metro shayari:

Tum pehno topi, hum pehnenge cap.
Doors will open on the left, please mind the gap.

Apne gamo ko mere dost apne dil me daba lo.
Naya godrej powder hair dye: Bas kato, gholo aur lagalo.

Na isko na usko thi mere pyar ki khabar
Arey mera diagram galat hogaya, rubber de rubber.:'(

A Poetic Resignation Letter

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!

The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.

Thanks & Regards
Employee

Don't Ever Stop Dreaming...!!!!!!

Dreams are a big part of our Lives
And You must do whatever it takes
To make them a Reality;
By the plans you make,
The course you take,
And the things you do.
Don't dwell on past mistakes.
Leave yesterday behind,
Along with all it's problems,
Worries and doubts.
Realize you can't change the past,
But you can start a new tomorrow.
Don't try to do everything at once;
Take one step at a time,
Don't ever be afraid to try the Impossible
No matter what others may think.
Remember you are Unique
In your own special way.
Don't ever stop Dreaming!
Don't ever stop wanting what's right for you!

Don't Send A Woman To The Hardware Store

Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.

He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.
When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?"
The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00."

Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It's certainly out of my price bracket."

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.

The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.

From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."

very hot day

The weather was very hot and a man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake.

He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water.

After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief.

The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move.

Then one of the ladies said: 'You know , I have a special gift, I can read minds.'

'Impossible', said the embarrassed man, 'You really know what I think?'

'Yes', the lady replied, 'Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom.'

Better than a Flu Shot!

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?
I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. *
*Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter..'*

Nurse Jenny

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny.
"She's incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards." said one
doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet
every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!"

The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a
patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour!
The guy nearly exploded!"

Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall. "Oh my God!"
said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's
boil!"

taxi driver

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.
They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I
charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window.
"Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and
the fare back to town is $25..."

moral of the story

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?'

''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

This is Women brain!!!!

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president's secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, why was he so interested in talking to you. She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.

President Obama then said, "so if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant" , to which Michelle responded, "no, if I had married him, he would now be the President"

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!!

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made,and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens,blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo -- "Defrost the chicken."

Khuda ka address

Ek fakir bhik maangne ke liye masjid ke baahar baitha raha...

Sab namaazi aankh bacha kar chale gaye ... usey kuch na mila ...
woh phir church gaya , phir mandir aur phir gurudware ...
lekin usko kissi ne kuch na diya ...

Aakhir ek maikhane (BAR / PUB) ke baahar aakar baith gaya ...

jo sharabi nikalta uske katorey mein kuch daal deta ...

uska katora noton se bhar gaya ...

faqir bola,



"wah mere khuda... !!
rahaitey kahaan ho, aur address kahaan ka dete ho...."

MBA VS ENGG...!!!

A MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up

their tent, and fall asleep.

Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.

“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see

The MBA replies, “I see millions of stars.”

The Engineer asks “What does that tell you?”

The MBA ponders for a minute:

“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are

millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?” !



The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks.

“Practically…Someone has stolen our tent”.

Love Letter In New Style

My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda), You are my TVS SCOOTY (first love) and my AIWA (pure passion ).

I always BPL (believe in the best) and you are SANSUI ( better than the best ).

You are DOMINO’S PIZZA (delivering a million smiles ) for me.

This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (seriously fresh ) feeling for me.

I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (the unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (born tough), but don’t worry as I am also FORD ICON (The josh machine ) and rest of our family members are pretty KELVINATORS (the coolest ones).

If our fathers say no, we will run away and marry, and PHILIPS (let’s make things better).

They will feel MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhire se lage ) but I believe in COCA-COLA (jo chahe ho jaye).

Trust in God who’s always NOKIA (connecting people) who love each other.

And do not forget that we are WILLS ( made for each other ).

Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (real taste of life ), SATYAM ONLINE (fun fast easy) and PARX (always comfortable).

So never forget me.

Ok bye!

I wrote little but actually PEPSI ( yeh dil mange more )!!.

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