Quote of the Day

85 YEAR OLD GRANDPA

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital." How are you grandpa?" he asks. "Feeling fine," says the old man.

"What's the food like?"

"Terrific, wonderful menus."

"And the nursing?"

"Just couldn't be better. The young nurses really take care of you."

"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"

"No problem at all -- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate & a Viagra tablet .. And that's it. I go out like a light."

The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes off to question the nurse in charge.

"What are you people doing?" he says, "I am told you are giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"

"Oh, yes," replied the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate & a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep...and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed."

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P.U.S.H

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin.

The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, the devil decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man's weary mind "You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it." This gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure.

These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. "Why kill myself over this?" he thought. "I'll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that will be good enough." And that is what he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

"Lord" he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"

The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me, with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?

Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done. I, my friend, will now move the rock."

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience and faith in Him... By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves the mountains. You just P.U.S.H.! ( Pray Until Something Happens! )

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True Facts .... May be

Hewlett Packard's first product was an automatic urinal flusher.

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All of David Letterman's suits are custom made; there are no creases in his suit trousers.

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Cranberry Jell-O is the only flavor that contains real fruit flavoring.

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Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a home run.

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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

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Richard Versalle, a tenor performing at New York's Metropolitan Opera House, suffered a heart attack and fell 10 feet from a ladder to the stage just after singing the line "You can only live so long."

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If the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people, 51% would be female, 49% male; 50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people, one person would be nearly dead, one nearly born.

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In 1920, Babe Ruth out-homered every American League team.

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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

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Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals.

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The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.

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Relationships

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."So he tied her up and went golfing.

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A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."

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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD!
WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!
Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

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RECRUIT

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back After 6 hours and then analyze The situation.

If they are counting the Bricks.Put them in the accounts Department.

If they are recounting them..Put them in auditing .

If they have messed up the Whole place with the bricks.Put them in engineering.


If they are arranging the Bricks in some strange order.Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the Bricks at each other.Put them in operations .

If they are sleeping.Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks Into pieces.Put them in information Technology.

If they are sitting idle.Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried Different combinations, yet Not a brick has Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for The day.Put them in marketing...

If they are staring out of the Window.Put them on strategic Planning..

And then last but not least.If they are talking to each Other and not a single brick
Has been Moved.

Congratulate them and put them In Top management

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Quote On Life

Don't take life seriously.

Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here.

We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity.

If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years.

And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends.

Do we really need to get so worked up?..

"Don't be serious, be sincere"!!

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Santa DA Danka

Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai

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Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

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Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.

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Santa: Doc Saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc Saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

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Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun is film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

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Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

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Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

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Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

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Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

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Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

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Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi NE bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

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A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

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At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

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In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

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Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated...
Drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

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Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

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Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh Bach gayi.

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Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver NE sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

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Santa: tainu Sunny Deol DA phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki Hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna is.

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Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

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Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?

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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

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Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!

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Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

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Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

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Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

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Banta: Oye, TU to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

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Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

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Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

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Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A:
Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'

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INSPIRATIONAL LEGENDS

He Rescues The Birds

Once, while riding through the country with some other lawyers, Abraham Lincoln was missed from the party, and was seen loitering near a thicket of wild plum trees where the men had Stopped a short time before to water their horses.

" Where is Lincoln?" asked one of the lawyers.

" When I saw him last," answered another, " he had caught two young birds that the wind had blown out of their nest, and was hunting for the nest to put them back again."

As Lincoln joined them, the lawyers rallied him on his tender-heartedness, and he said: --

" I could not have slept unless I had restored those little birds to their mother."

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Growing Older

When the poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was well along in years, his hair was white but he

Was still a vigorous man. Someone asked him why this was so.

The poet pointed to an apple tree in bloom and said, " That tree is very old, but I never saw prettier blossoms on it that it now bears. That tree grows new wood each year. Like that apple tree, I try to grow a little new wood each year ."

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Be A Better Person

A Young student approached the famous French scientist and philosopher, Blaise Pascal, and declared, " If I had your brains, I would be a better person."

Pondering the depth of that statement, Pascal paused momentarily before replying, " Be a better person, and you will have my brains."

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Chanakya's Quotes

"A person should not be too honest.
Straight trees are cut first
And Honest people are screwed first."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC 75 BC)

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"Even if a snake is not poisonous,
It should pretend to be venomous."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. If you cannot keep secret with you , do not expect that other will keep it. ! It will destroy you."

Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"There is some self-interest behind every friendship.
There is no Friendship without self-interests.
This is a bitter truth."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions -
Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply
And find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"Once you start a working on something,
Don't be afraid of failure and
Don't abandon it.
People who work sincerely are the happiest."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

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"The fragrance of flowers spreads
Only in the direction of the wind.
But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

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"A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

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"Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years.
For the next five years, scold them.
By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend.
Your grown up children are your best friends."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

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"Education is the best friend.
An educated person is respected everywhere.
Education beats the beauty and the youth."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

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Ahhh... To Be A Kid Again

I want to be a kid again.

I want go back to the time when ;
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny- miney- MO."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming ,"do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.

The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"
It was unbeleivable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot.

Nobody was prettier then Mom.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

Abilities were discovered because of a "double- dog-dare."
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30 minute ads for action figures.
No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home.
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.

War was a car game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.

Ice cream was considered a basic food group.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED !!!!!
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Woman's Ears

A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution.

He heard of a very good one in Sweden, and went to him. The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said, 'yes, I can put you right.'

After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel.

The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells, 'You swine, you gave me a woman's ears.'

'Well, an ear is an ear. It makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's.'

'You're wrong! I hear everything, but I don't understand a thing!'

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Punjabi Girl

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from New Delhi , and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning.

He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done.

The second man had married a woman from Bombay .

He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.

On the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Punjabi girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
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Party Crashers

It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments.

She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn't know how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an idea....

He turned to the crowd of guests and said "Will those who are from the brides side of the family stand up please?" about twenty people stood.

Then he asked " Will those who are from the groom side of the family stand up as well?" about twenty five people stood up.

The He smiled and said

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"Will all those who stood please leave, This is a birthday party".
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Some Good Lines

NEVER CRY FOR ANY RELATION IN LIFE
BECAUSE FOR THE ONE WHOM YOU CRY
DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR TEARS
AND THE ONE WHO DESERVES
WILL NEVER LET YOU CRY...

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TREAT EVERYONE WITH POLITENESS
EVEN THOSE WHO ARE RUDE TO YOU,
NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT NICE
BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE...

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NEVER SEARCH YOUR HAPPINESS IN OTHERS
WHICH WILL MAKE YOU FEEL ALONE,
RATHER SEARCH IT IN YOURSELF
YOU WILL FEEL HAPPY
EVEN IF YOU ARE LEFT ALONE...

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ALWAYS HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IN LIFE.
THERE IS SOMETHING POSITIVE IN EVERY PERSON.
EVEN A STOPPED WATCH IS RIGHT TWICE A DAY...

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HAPPINESS ALWAYS LOOKS SMALL
WHEN WE HOLD IT IN OUR HANDS.
BUT WHEN WE LEARN TO SHARE IT,
WE REALIZE HOW BIG AND PRECIOUS IT IS...

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32 STRANGE THINGS

1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.

3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

6. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.

7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2".

8. During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen in the distance (and Heston's wearing a watch).

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (That explains a few mysteries... .)

10. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

12. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564, 000.

13. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.

14. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before.

15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

16. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who discovered this??)

17. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.

18. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen' s "Born in the USA."

19. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

20. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

21. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so the called themselves Motorola.

22. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.

23. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

24. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

25. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

26. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

27. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."

28. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!

29. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.

30. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.

31. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.

32. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!

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Principles for Success

This is the story of Robby.

He was a young boy who lived with his elderly Mother. His mother wanted him to learn how to play the piano because she Longed to hear her son play for her. She sent her son to a piano teacher who Took Robby in under her guidance.

However, there was one small problem Because Robby was not musically inclined and therefore was very slow in Learning.

The teacher did not have much faith in the boy because of his Weakness. The mother was very enthusiastic and every week she would send Robby to the teacher .

One day Robby stopped attending the piano lessons. The teacher thought that He had given up and in fact she was quite pleased since she did not give Much hope to Robby. Not long after, the piano teacher was given the task to Organize a piano concert in town. She sent out circulars to invite the Students and public to attend the event.

Suddenly, she received a call from Robby who offered to take part in the concert. The teacher told Robby that He was not good enough and that he was no longer a student since he had Stopped coming for lessons.

Robby begged her to give him a chance and Promised that he would not let her down.

Finally, she gave in and she put him to play last, hoping that he will Change his mind at the last minute. When the big day came, the hall was Packed and the children gave their best performance. Finally ,

It was Robby's Turn to play and as his name was announced, he walked in. He was not in Proper attire and his hair was not properly groomed.

The teacher was really Nervous since Robby's performance could spoil the whole evening's brilliant Performance.

As Robby started playing the crowd became silent and was amazed At the skill of this little boy. In fact, he gave the best performance of The evening. At the end of his presentation the crowd and the piano teacher Gave him a standing ovation. The crowd asked Robby how he managed to play so Brilliantly.

With a microphone in front of him, he said, "I was not able to Attend the weekly piano lessons as there was no one to send me because my Mother was sick with cancer.

She just passed away this morning and I wanted Her to hear me play. You see, this is the first time she is able to hear me Play because when she was alive she was deaf and now I know she is listening To me. I have to play my best for her!"

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SUCCESS PRINCIPLES

This is indeed a touching story of love and excellence. When you have a Passion and a reason to do something, you will surely excel.

You may not be Talented or gifted but if you have a strong enough reason to do something, You will be able to tap into your inner God given potential.

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MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

" Find the good. It's all around you. Find it, showcase it and you'll start Believing in it."
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Inspirational forward

Sweet Morning!!!

The secret of life is to make the best of whatever comes along,
Make every day fresh and new,
Go in search of knowledge and experience.

Let your questions and your answers reconcile.
Do your best to remember that the best kind of learning curve is an educated smile.

Share your magic with the people who share your memories.
Let your feelings run deep.

Be in touch with the people who live in your heart.
Be a caring person who plays for keeps.

To really know what success means, earn it.
Don't rely on some elevator to get you there.
The higher the floor you want to reach,
The more important it is to take the stairs.

The easiest lessons to remember are the ones you learn the hard way!

Appreciate the little things that make each day unique and special.

Have A Beautiful Day!!!

Quotes by Albert Einstein

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

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Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.

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Ethical axioms are found and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. Truth is what stands the test of experience.

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Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

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Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.

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I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

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I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

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If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

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If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

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Imagination is more important than knowledge...

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It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

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Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.

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My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

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Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.

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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

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Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.

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The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. The trite subjects of human efforts, possessions, outward success, luxury have always seemed to me contemptible.

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The important thing is not to stop questioning.

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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.

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The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.

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The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.

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The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

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To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.

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Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.

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Truth is what stands the test of experience.

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Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.

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We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

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Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.

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As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

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What Is Makar Sakranti

Makar Sankranti is celebrated every year on JANUARY 14th. Makar Sankranti marks the end of a long winter with the return of the Sun to the Northern Hemisphere. Makara literally means 'Capricorn' and Sankranti Is the day when the sun passes from One sign of the zodiac to the next.

The Sankranti of any month is considered auspicious as it signifies a fresh start. However Makara Sankranti is celebrated

In the month of Magha when the sun passes through the winter solstice, from the Tropic of Cancer to the Tropic of Capricorn.

This festival has been celebrated for thousands of years. Initially, this was probably a festival celebrated in the cold climate, when people prayed for the warmth of the sun. In all likelihood, the Aryans celebrated it, and continued to do so after migrating to India. Today, Makara Sankranti is celebrated throughout India As a harvest festival.

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Speeding

Ramankutty Nair, a middle aged Indian immigrant in Dallas, Texas bought a brand new convertible Porsche.

He took off down the road and pushed it up to 160 MPH and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair.

"This is great," he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. But when he eventually looked in his rear-view mirror there was a Ford Crown Victoria Police Car behind him, blue lights flashing.

"I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210 mph to escape being stopped.

Then he thought, what the hell am I doing? "I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.

The Policeman pulled in behind the Porsche and walked up on the driver's side.

"Sir, my Shift ends in five minutes and today is Wednesday 22 November a day before Thanksgiving "If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before as to why you were speeding, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Policeman and said, "Last week my wife ran off with an American Policeman and I thought you were bringing her back."

The Policeman said, "Have a nice day, sir"

*******

Inheritance

When Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

**********

LET ME LOVE YOU

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl.

This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... Heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...

"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"

One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realise those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... And he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb.

Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... Therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.

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True value of doing business with Bank

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.

Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to Bank?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our Bank Master card yet?"

"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.

"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"

Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!!!!"

***********

THE OLD MOTOR

The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town.

After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child.

The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said,

'Thisis amazing. How do you do it at your age?'

The old man grinned and said, 'You got to keep the old motor running.'

The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child.

The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman.

She said, 'Sir, you are something! How do you manage it?'

The old man grinned and said, 'You gotta keep the old motor running.'

A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their third child.

The same nurse was there for this birth also and, after the delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, 'Well, you surely are something awesome! How do you do it?'

The old man replied, 'It's like I've told you before, you gotta keep the old motor running.'

The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said: Well, I guess it's time to change the oil. This one is black!'

Little Johnny the Smart Salesman

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Sally was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."

"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467," cried the teacher, "what in the world were you selling?"

"Tooth brushes," said Little Johnny. "Tooth brushes," echoed the teacher, "how could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a Chip and Dip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing... 'Hey, this tastes like shit!'

Then I would say, "It is shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

***********

just u decide

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well a s she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

The doctor told him there is a simple test the he could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 Feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

"Good Lord, Ralph, are you deaf? I said for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN !"

***********

Hunting License

A Sardar went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like Sardars.

The game warden ordered the Sardar to show his hunting license, and the Sardar pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Ontario. This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license, boy?"

The Sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Quebec duck.

This duck's from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?"

The sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said,"This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?"

Again the Sardar reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Sardar "Just where the hell are you from?"

The Sardar smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants and said, "You tell me, you're the expert."

*********

Advice!!!

1. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.

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2. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can carry easily.

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3. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.

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4. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

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5. Don't be afraid to encounter risk. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

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6. Don't be afraid to admit you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.

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7. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

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8. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or future. By living our life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

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9. Don't take for granted the closest things to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

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10. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

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11. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

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Learn to Shut up!

TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly$1 million.

Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million.

She explained that she had 'charged' him for sex, and these were the results of her savings and investments.

The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you.'

That's when she shot him.

You know, that's what happens when you don't know when to keep your mouth shut...!!!

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Another Example, Doc?

"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

Bob thought for a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

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raise Ur helping hands

READ the new rule implemented by Supreme Court and be aware.

Right to Emergency Care:

The Supreme Court has ruled that all injured persons especially in the case of road traffic accidents, assaults, etc., when brought to a hospital / medical centre, have to be offered first aid, stabilized and shifted to a higher centre / government centre if required.

It is only after this that the hospital can demand payment or complete police formalities.

In case you are a bystander and wish to help someone in an accident, please go ahead and do so.

Your responsibility ends as soon as you leave the person at the hospital. The hospital bears the responsibility of informing the police, first aid, etc.

Please do inform your family and friends about these basic rights so that we all know what to expect and what to do in the hour of need.

SO FOLKS .....Here after don't hesitate to help the victims of an accident incase if u encounter... raise Ur helping hands

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MORTY & SADIE

Morty arrives home from work and as soon as he sets foot in the house,

Sadie is on to him, telling him that their friend Marvin has finally quit smoking.

"Imagine that, Morty," she says, "Someone who smoked 3 packs a day for 20 years has stopped smoking all of a sudden. Now that's what I call will power - something that you definitely don't have."

But Sadie hadn't finished. "And that's not all. I hear that Bernie, that drunken friend of yours, is finally giving up drinking - another example of the kind of will power that you don't have."

"OK, Sadie," said Morty, "you want to see will power, do you? Well here's will power. I am going to sleep in the spare room from now on. I am going to prove to you that I won't be affected at all by not sleeping with a woman."

Morty keeps to his word.

One night, when he had been sleeping alone for a week, there is a knock on his bedroom door.

Morty shouts out, "What do you want?" Sadie replies, "Er... Marvin has started smoking again."

******

Best patient

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

*********

Fishing

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph.

I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied,

"Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that s#!t."

**********

Chinese Proverbs

A little impatience will spoil great plans.

Even a hare will bite when it is cornered.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

If you bow at all, bow low.

A smile will gain you ten more years of life.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

Behave toward everyone as if receiving a guest.

A fall into a ditch makes you wiser.

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

An inch of time is an inch of gold but you can't buy that inch of time with an inch of gold.

A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

A book holds a house of gold.

Talk does not cook rice.

Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.

A needle is not sharp at both ends.

Distant water won't help to put out a fire close at hand.

Small men think they are small; great men never know they are great.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Want a thing long enough and you don't.

Clear conscience never fears midnight knocking.

Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.

I was angered, for I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet.

Men trip not on mountains they trip on molehills.

Do not want others to know what you have done? Better not have done it anyways.

A man without a smiling face must not open shop.

It is not the knowing that is difficult, but the doing.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.

A bird can roost but on one branch, a mouse can drink not more than its fill from a river.

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Why do guys fall in love with girls??

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11. How cute they are when they argue

12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"

18. Actually ... Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!

23. The way they say "I miss you"

24. The way you miss them

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... It matters not. Because once in your life,

Whatever they were to the world they become everything to you.

When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice.

It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

******

men will try everything

A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan.

Realising he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00'. 'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the pening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.

With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit........ ......... ......... ....... which now had a button sewn neatly on the end... Ouch!!!!

Thought Provoking

One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big advice on the door on which it was written:

“Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared the gym”.

In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.

The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room.

The more people reached the coffin, the more excitement heated up.

Everyone thought: “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress ? Well, at least he died !”.

One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless.

They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.

There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself.

There was also a sign next to the mirror that said:

“There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: It is YOU.

You are the only person who can revolutionize your life.

You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success.

You are the only person who can help yourself.

Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parent change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that your are they only one responsible for your life.

“The most important relationship you can have, is the one you have with yourself”

Examine yourself, watch yourself. Don’t be afraid of difficulties, impossibilities and losses: be a winner, build yourself and your reality.

The world is like a mirror: It gives back to anyone the reflection of the thoughts in which one has strongly believed.

The world and your reality are like mirrors laying in a coffin, which show to any individual the death of his divine capability to imagine and create his happiness and his success.

It’s the way you face Life that makes the difference Have a nice day !!

**********

Sardar on the plane

Santa Singh gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. He has never been on an airplane anywhere and gets excited and tense. As soon as he boards the plane, a Boeing 747, he started jumping in excitement, running from seat to seat and shouting, 'BOEING!BOEING! ! BOEING!!! BO....'.

The pilot in the cockpit hears the noise and annoyed by what's goings on, he comes out and shouts, 'BE SILENT!'

There's pin-drop silence every where and everybody looks Santa. He stares at the pilot in silence for a few seconds and then starts shouting, 'OEING ! OEING!! OEING!!!OE.. .'.

The Master

When one Guru was dying, one of his deciple asked him "Guruji, who was your master?"He said, "I had thousands of masters. If I just relate their names it will take months, years and it is too late. But three masters I will certainly tell you about.

One was a thief. Once I got lost in the desert, and when I reached a village it was very late, everything was closed. But at last I found one man who was trying to make a hole in t he wall of a house. I asked him where I could stay and he said 'At this time of night it will be difficult, but you can say with me - if you can stay with a thief'.And the man was so beautiful. I stayed for one month! And each night he would say to me, 'Now I am going to my work. You rest, you pray.' When he came back I would ask 'Could you get anything?' He would say, 'Not tonight. But tomorrow I will try again, God willing.' He was never in a state of hopelessness, he was always happy.

When I was meditating and meditating for years on end and nothing was happening, many times the moment came when I was so desperate, so hopeless,that I thought to stop all this nonsense. And suddenly I would remember the thief who would say every night, 'God willing, tomorrow it is going to happen.'

And my second master was a dog. I was going to the river, thirsty and a dog came. He was also thirsty. He looked into the river, he saw another dog there -- his own image -- and became afraid. He would bard and run away, but his thirst was so much that he would come back. Finally, despite his fear, he just jumped into the water, and the image disappeared. And I knew that a message had come to me from God: one has to jump in spite of all fears.

And the third master was a small child. I entered a town and a child was carrying a lit candle. He was going to the mosque to put the candle there.

'Just joking,' I asked the boy, 'Have you lit the candle yourself?' He said,

'Yes sir.' And I asked, 'There was a moment when the candle was unlit, then there was a moment when the candle was lit. Can you show me the source from which the light came?' And the boy laughed, blew out the candle, and said, 'Now you have seen the light going. Where has it gone? You will tell me!'

My ego was shattered, my whole knowledge was shattered. And that moment I felt my own stupidity. Since then I dropped all my knowledgeability.

It is true that I had no master. That does not mean that I was not a disciple

-- I accepted the whole existence as my master. My Disciplehood was a greater involvement than yours is. I trusted the clouds, the trees. I trusted existence as such. I had no master because I had millions of masters I learned from every possible source. To be a disciple is a must on the path. What does it mean to be a disciple? It means to be able to learn. To be available to learn to be vulnerable to existence. With a master you start learning to learn.

The master is a swimming pool where you can learn how to swim. Once you have learned, all the oceans are yours."

******

CYCLONE

A cyclone hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning.

It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping. By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over.

The wife was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Don't be scared, Mary," her husband said.
"We're not hurt."

Mary continued to cry. "I'm not scared,"

She said between sobs. "I'm happy... This is the first time in 14 years we've been out together."

****

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