Quote of the Day

Enthusiastic Salesman

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

" Madam , if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this S...!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, " Why, madam? "

"There's no electricity in the house.. ." said the lady
**********

MORAL: Gather All resources be4 working on any project...!! !

Source : Ashwini - Blog Reader

KRACK-TRACK-KRACK-TRACK

In a village there was a well, where the water was drawn by a bull that was tied to a huge iron wheel. As the bull would run on a circular path around the well, the wheel would move and water would be drawn up. Throughout the period when the bull was at work and the water was flowing out, there was a krack-track- krack-track noise coming from the rickety old wheel.

Some women filled water in pots to carry home for kitchen use. There were others who sat nearby, washing clothes. Everything seemed to be going on in perfect harmony to the music of Krack-track-krack-track playing in the background. A king came galloping by that way. His horse was thirsty. He called out to a villager who was sitting close by. "My horse is thirsty. I need some water." The peasant nudged the bull and as the bull started moving on its circular track, the water started flowing along with the sound of krack-track- krack-track. The peasant said, "The water is flowing now, come bring your horse this way and let it quench its thirst." The king led the horse to the stream of water, but the horse shied away due to the cracking sound. The king tried a couple of times, but it seemed that the horse was scared of the sound. The king said, "Stop that noise, my horse is scared of it." The peasant said, "If I have to stop that noise, I will have to stop the bull, the noise shall stop but so shall the flow of water. If the horse wants to have the water, it shall have to have it along with the noise. There is nothing I can do to give you water without the noise!"

So, the horse after much coaxing had to brave the situation and have the water along with the tune of krack-track-krack-track.

Are we also behaving like the horse? Are we also offering excuses for not doing this or that? Are we waiting for a phase of life to get over before we start doing certain things? Are we waiting for our children to get married, before we start helping out in society? Are we waiting for the children's exams to get over before we start going for a walk? Are we waiting to earn a certain amount, before we start donating for the lesser fortunate?

Time and tide waits for no one. If you really want to do something, start doing it now. Do it while you can, for who knows whether you may be able to do it later or not.
 
Source : Ashwini - Blog Reader

Wife Tales

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The Mafia wants either your money or life...
The wives want both!
====
Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in &
Those inside are desperate to come out.
====
No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied
With FOUR things in life.
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in neighbourhood.
===
Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, `Good day sir, Even we are searching`.
===
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
 It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
===
Whisky is a brilliant invention.
One double and you start feeling single again.
===
A friend recently explained why he refuses to get married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.
===
It is said that when a woman closes her eyes,
She sees the person she love the most;
And when a man does that...
The slide show begins.
===
It takes thousand workers to build a castle,
Million soldiers to protect a country,
but just one woman to make a Happy Home ---
A good maid!
===
Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils,
But my wife is the queen of them.

Wife's Hearing Problem

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he  thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told  him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from  her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a  response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in  the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his  wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his  wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for  dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
.
.
.
.
.
"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be very much within us..!



Source : Ashwini - Blog Reader

What a Coincidence

Tess was a precocious eight year old when she heard her Mom and Dad talking about her little brother, Andrew. All she knew was that he was very sick and they were completely out of money.

They were moving to an apartment complex next month because Daddy didn't have enough money for the doctor bills and the house payments. Only a very costly surgery could save him now and it was looking like there was no-one to loan them the money.

She heard Daddy say to her tearful Mother with whispered desperation, "Only a miracle can save him now."

Tess went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big Indian Chief sign above the door.

She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

"And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. "I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages," he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

"Well, I want to talk to you about MY brother," Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. "He's really, really sick... and I want to buy a miracle."

"I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist.

"His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?"

"We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you," the pharmacist said, softening a little.

"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs."

The pharmacist's brother was a well-dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does you brother need?"

"I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up. "I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money."

"How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago.

"One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly. "And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to."

"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven cents-the exact price of a miracle for little brothers." He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said, "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the kind of miracle you need."

That well-dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neurosurgery. The operation was completed without charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well. Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

"That surgery," her Mom whispered, "was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?"

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost ... one dollar and eleven cents ... plus the faith of a little child.

A miracle is NOT the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a HIGHER law ...

Source : Vinita Bhandari - Blog Reader

A Pound Of Butter

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, amour Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

What is the moral of the story?
 
We get back in life what we give to others. Whenever we take an action, ask ourself this question: Am I giving my best to expect best. Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves--- more than anyone else.

Honesty can be put across gently. Some people take pride in being brutally honest. It seems they are getting a bigger kick out of the brutality than the honesty. Choice of words and tact are important.

Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: "tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"

Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

Source : Ashwini - Blog Reader

Story of 4 Dolls

A sage presented a prince with a set of three small dolls. The prince was not amused.
"Am I a girl that you give me dolls?" he asked.

"This is a gift for a future king," said the man. "If you look carefully, you'll see a hole in the ear of each doll."

"So?"

The sage handed him a piece of string.

"Pass it through each doll," he said.

Intrigued, the prince picked up the first doll and put the string into the ear.
It came out from the other ear.

"This is one type of person," said the man. "Whatever you tell him, comes out from the other ear. He doesn't retain anything."

The prince put the string into the second doll. It came out from the mouth.

"This is the second type of person," said the man. "Whatever you tell him, he tells everybody else."

The prince picked up the third doll and repeated the process. The string did not reappear from anywhere else.

"This is the third type of person," said the man. "Whatever you tell him is locked up within him. It never comes out."

"What is the best type of person?" asked the prince.

The man handed him a fourth doll, in answer.

When the prince put the string into the doll, it came out from the other ear.

"Do it again," said the sage. The prince repeated the process. This time the string came out from the mouth. When he put the string in a third time, it did not come out at all.

"This is the best type of person," said the sage. "To be trustworthy, a man must know when not to listen, when to remain silent and when to speak out."

Burnt Toast

"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got Up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "
 
"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket but into your own."

Source : Ashwini - Blog Reader

A Hat Seller

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.

The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to his mind* He took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Sukhwinder, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.

One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.

He remembered his grandfather’ s words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed.

He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed.

Now, very convinced of his grandfather’ s idea, Sukhwinder threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and Guess!!! Said what???
************ ****

“You think only you have a grandfather”.

Six words of wisdom

Standing for what you believe in, regardless of the odds against you,and the pressure that tears at your resistance, means COURAGE

Keeping a smile on your face, when inside you feel like dying,for the sake of supporting others, means STRENGTH

Stopping at nothing, and doing what in your heart you know is right,to make another's life a little more bearable, without uttering a single complaint,
means COMPASSION

Helping a friend in need, no matter the time or effort,to the best of your ability, means LOYALTY

Giving more than you have and expecting absolutely nothing in return,means SELFLESSNESS

Holding your head high, and being the best you know you can be when life seems to fall apart at your feet, and facing each difficulty with the confidence that time will bring you better tomorrows,and never giving up, means CONFIDENCE

Teaching English

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives, when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "MY bike.

Source : Ashwini - Blog Reader

Dost Kabhi nahi badlate

Situations
Maa
Papa
Dost
RESULT AGAR ACHCHA HO:
Bhagwan ki kripa hai.
Beta Kiska Hai.
Chal Daaru Peete hain.
RESULT AGAR BURA HO:
Aag lage is college main.
Laad pyar ne bigaad diya.
Chal Daaru Peete hain.
NAUKRI LAGNE PAR:
Apni sehat ka khyal rakhna
Khoob Mehnat se kaam karna
Chal Daaru Peete hain
NAUKRI CHHOOTNE PAR
Naukri hee kharab thee
Koi baat Nahin, doosri mil jayegi
Chal Daaru Peete hain
BIRTHDAY PAR
Jug jug jiye mera beta.
Hamesha aage badhe.
Chal Daaru Peete hain.
SHAADI PAR
Sadaa Sukhi Raho
Khush Raho
Chal Daaru Peete hain
BACHHA HONE PAR
Bilkul mere bete par gaya / gayi hai
Khush Raho
Chal Daaru Peete hain
LOVE MAIN FAIL HONE PAR:
Beta Bhool ja usko.
Mard ban, bhool ja usko.
Chal Daaru Peete hain.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Duniya badal jati hai par DOST kabhi nahin badalte..

Source : Ashwini - Blog Reader

FREEDOM- Where The Mind Is Without Fear by Rabindranath Tagore

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.


Today on the day of Independence Day , we all know that this day our ‘golden bird’ was set free from the cage of British rule after two hundred long years of struggle.

Freedom means a lot to everyone and if I say that the basic nature of man is to be free, then I won’t be wrong in saying that.

A very beautiful and meaningful poem by Rabindranath Tagore called ‘Where the Head is Held High’ very nicely defines the real meaning of freedom. In his poem he prays to God to be in a world which is not divided and the knowledge is free.

But not everyone can have the same definition for freedom and its significance in one’s life can vary from person to person. We live in free India but how many of us really feel that that we are living in a free country which gives us the right to select our own government?  I guess very few of us truly value this which includes me as well.
What Freedom Means To You?

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO ALL

Source : Vinita Bhandari - Blog Reader

Rocks and Sand

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. 

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the  and filled up everything else. 

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.

"The sand is everything else. The small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

Law of seed

Let us take the example of an apple tree to understand the law of seed, have a look at an apple tree. There might be 500 apples on the tree, each with 10 seeds. That's a lot of seeds. We might ask why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees? Nature has something to teach us here. It is telling us "most seeds never grow " so if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once.

This might mean -
-You will attaned 20 interviews to get the job.
-You will interview 40 people to find one good employee.
-You will talk to some 50 people to sell one house, car, vaccume cleaner, insurance policy or idea.
-You might meet a 100 aquainatances to find one special friend.
-When we understand the "law of a seed " We don't get so dissappointed.
-We stop feeling like victims. Laws of nature are not things to take personally.
-We most need to understand them and work with them.
-In a nutshell - successful people fail more often. They plant more trees.

Source : Vinita Bhandari - Blog Reader

HOW TO STAY YOUNG - THOUGHT OF THE DAY

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this In mind if you are one of those grouches

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself.
LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

"Your S-M-I-L-E is Your First i-n-t-r-o-d-u-c-t-i-o-n"

Source :Vinita Bhandari - Blog Reader

Fable of the porcupine…

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one  wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other.

After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen.

So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.  Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. This way they learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

The Moral of the story!


The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person’s good qualities.

LEARN TO LOVE THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE.

Source : Vinita Bhandari - Blog Reader

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