10 again

Jack was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, Sophia, turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since Sophia's birthday was not far off, Jack asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

"I'd like to be 10 again!" Sophia replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of Sophia's birthday, Jack arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to a theme park. What a day!

Jack put Sophia on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was!

5 hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Sophia's head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

Jack then took Sophia to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and Sophia's favourite sweets, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally Sophia wobbled home with Jack and collapsed into bed exhausted.

Jack leaned over Sophia with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being 10 again?"

Sophia's eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed, "I meant my dress size, you idiot!!"

Family, Food or Philosophy

A rather awkward and shy John asked his best friend, Jonny, how he was always so successful with the ladies.

"It's easy.." explained Jonny. "The trick is to get the conversation rolling. I always start with one of three topics: family, food or philosophy. Any girl in the world is bound to have something to say about one of those subjects. Once you get her talking, it's easy from there."

The next night, John had a date with Rosy, but in the first 5 minutes a complete silence had fallen over the table.

Finally, remembering Jonny's advice, he cleared his throat and began, "So, do you have a brother?"

"No." Rosy replied.

Noting that hadn't gone very well and Rosy hadn't offered any kind of follow-up information, John thought perhaps he would have better luck with food. "So, do you like Italian food?" John asked.

"No." replied Rosy.

Now desperate, John thought and thought, trying to come up with some kind of philosophical question.


Finally, John said, "So, tell me, If you had a brother, would he have liked Italian food?"