Waiting for a Train

Mike and his wife, Alice, check into a hotel. Mike wants to go to the bar for a drink, but Alice is very tired from the trip and decides to go up to their room to rest.

Just as Alice lies down on the bed, an elevated train passes by very close to the window, shaking the room so hard that she's thrown out of the bed.

Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, Alice lies down once more. Again, a train goes by and shakes the room so violently that she's thrown to the floor.

Exasperated, Alice calls the front desk and asks for the manager, who says he'll be right up.

The manager is skeptical, but Alice insists the story is true. "Look.." Alice says, "Lie here on the bed, you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So, the manager lies down next to Alice.

Just then Mike enters the room. "What are you doing here??!!" Mike shouts.

"Would you believe if I say I'm waiting for a train?" the manager calmly replies.

And he was thrown right to the floor by Mike.

Keep you Mobile Loaded...!!

There was a girl called Tina whom Tejas really loved but he never had the guts to tell her how much he loves her.

One night, at around 11:00pm, Tejas summoned some courage and sent Tina a sms message saying, "I love you so much, I want to date you. Please reply and tell me how you feel about me."

A few seconds later Tejas received a message alert on his phone. Tejas was so excited but at the same time was also scared and too tensed to open it that night, so he decided not to check the reply until the next morning when he will be less tensed.

When Tejas woke up the next day, he said his prayers, did his morning chores, brushed his teeth, ate his breakfast, took his bath and combed his hair, then jumped back to his bed and gently picked up his phone to read the message.

Tejas started reading:
"Dear customer, you have insufficient balance to complete your request. Kindly reload your account and try again. Thank you."

Mystery of Beard

Mukesh is married to Geeeta but he is having an extra-marital affair with another girl called Meeta.

One afternoon when Mukesh was with Meeta, she asked that he shave his beard.

"I do like your beard, Mukesh, but I would really love to see your handsome face." Meeta said.

"My wife loves this beard, honey." Mukesh replied. "I couldn't possibly shave it. She would kill me."

"Oh, please..." Meeta purred.

"Really, I can't." Mukesh replied. "My wife loves this beard!"

Meeta asked once more, and Mukesh sighed and finally gave up.

That night, Mukesh crawled into bed while Geeeta was sleeping.

Geeeta stirred, felt his face, and said, "Oh, Mahesh, you shouldn't be here! My husband will be home any time soon!"

Dont do it AGAIN...

Wife was making fried eggs for her husband, for breakfast. Suddenly Husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

Wife stared at Husband and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

Husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."

Who is Father???!!!

A baby was born to a couple, John and Rosy.

When he was 1, he could talk like an adult. When he was 2, he could read anything. When he was 3, he could do advanced calculus. When he was 4, he could predict the future.

One day, he made three predictions: "1 year from today, I will die. 2 years from today, my mother will die. 3 years from today, my father will die."

Sure enough, a year later the young boy died.

John, getting the picture in a big way, loaded up his wife, Rosy, with a million dollars in life insurance. A year later Rosy died.

John collected the million dollar insurance benefit, and, figuring he only had a year before his own death, he went on a 364-day binge... Fast cars, faster women, exotic vacations, and flings with supermodels.

John's timing was perfect, for on the 364th day, he blew the last penny on a Blue Sapphire martini and an exotic dancer with a taste for overpriced champagne and sexy lingerie.

At midnight, John toasted himself, "What a way to go..." and slipped off into what he assumed would be his big sleep.

To his amazement, John woke up the next morning. He had cheated death! He was invincible!

Then the exotic dancer with whom John had spent the night broke the news. "Honey, better come quick, the gardener's dead!!!"

Car in the lake

As soon as Sophia arrived home, she said to John, "Honey, the car won't start, but I do know what the problem is."

"What do you mean? What's wrong with it?" John asked.

"There's water in the carburetor." Sophia replied.

"Sweetheart.." John said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but you wouldn't know a carburetor from an accelerator."

"No, really honey, there's water in the carburetor." insisted Sophia.

"Ok, dear, I'll go take a look at it. Where is it?" John asked.

"In the lake!" Sophia replied.

Wall of Clocks

A woman dies. In heaven she sees a large Wall full of Clocks.

She asks angel: What are these for?

Angel answers: These are Lie Clocks, every person has a lie clock! Whenever you lie on earth, clock moves.

The woman points towards a clock and asks: Whose clock is this? ...

Angel says: Its Mother Teresa's. It never moved, showing that she never told lie.

The woman asks: Where are the clocks of our Married men?

The angel replies: Those are in our office, We use them as 'OFFICE FANS'

She then asked, what of the Married women?

The angel replied, 'those are out there generating electricity!'