Keep you Mobile Loaded...!!

There was a girl called Tina whom Tejas really loved but he never had the guts to tell her how much he loves her.

One night, at around 11:00pm, Tejas summoned some courage and sent Tina a sms message saying, "I love you so much, I want to date you. Please reply and tell me how you feel about me."

A few seconds later Tejas received a message alert on his phone. Tejas was so excited but at the same time was also scared and too tensed to open it that night, so he decided not to check the reply until the next morning when he will be less tensed.

When Tejas woke up the next day, he said his prayers, did his morning chores, brushed his teeth, ate his breakfast, took his bath and combed his hair, then jumped back to his bed and gently picked up his phone to read the message.

Tejas started reading:
"Dear customer, you have insufficient balance to complete your request. Kindly reload your account and try again. Thank you."

Mystery of Beard

Mukesh is married to Geeeta but he is having an extra-marital affair with another girl called Meeta.

One afternoon when Mukesh was with Meeta, she asked that he shave his beard.

"I do like your beard, Mukesh, but I would really love to see your handsome face." Meeta said.

"My wife loves this beard, honey." Mukesh replied. "I couldn't possibly shave it. She would kill me."

"Oh, please..." Meeta purred.

"Really, I can't." Mukesh replied. "My wife loves this beard!"

Meeta asked once more, and Mukesh sighed and finally gave up.

That night, Mukesh crawled into bed while Geeeta was sleeping.

Geeeta stirred, felt his face, and said, "Oh, Mahesh, you shouldn't be here! My husband will be home any time soon!"

What's her age?

A Kentucky State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young
man.

behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
 

The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer?'
The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?'
The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine.'

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And her, what is she doing?' The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.' Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane... And nothing obscene is happening!
 

The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?'
The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'
The trooper asks: 'And her.... what's her age?'
The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in 11 minutes...'

Two Nickels and Five Pennies

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. “How much is a dish of plain ice cream?” he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she said brusquely. The little boy again counted the coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies — her tip.

Struggle

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther.

Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

And we could never fly..

A Pound Of Butter

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, amour Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

What is the moral of the story?
 

We get back in life what we give to others. Whenever we take an action, ask ourself this question: Am I giving my best to expect best. Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves--- more than anyone else.

Honesty can be put across gently. Some people take pride in being brutally honest. It seems they are getting a bigger kick out of the brutality than the honesty. Choice of words and tact are important.

Dost Kabhi nahi badlate

Situations Maa Papa Dost RESULT AGAR ACHCHA HO: Bhagwan ki kripa hai. Beta Kiska Hai. Chal Daaru Peete hain. RESULT AGAR BURA HO: Aag lage is college main. Laad pyar ne bigaad diya. Chal Daaru Peete hain. NAUKRI LAGNE PAR: Apni sehat ka khyal rakhna Khoob Mehnat se kaam karna Chal Daaru Peete hain NAUKRI CHHOOTNE PAR Naukri hee kharab thee Koi baat Nahin, doosri mil jayegi Chal Daaru Peete hain BIRTHDAY PAR Jug jug jiye mera beta. Hamesha aage badhe. Chal Daaru Peete hain. SHAADI PAR Sadaa Sukhi Raho Khush Raho Chal Daaru Peete hain BACHHA HONE PAR Bilkul mere bete par gaya / gayi hai Khush Raho Chal Daaru Peete hain LOVE MAIN FAIL HONE PAR: Beta Bhool ja usko. Mard ban, bhool ja usko. Chal Daaru Peete hain. MORAL OF THE STORY: Duniya badal jati hai par DOST kabhi nahin badalte.. Source : Ashwini - Blog Reader

The house with the golden windows

The little girl lived in a small, very simple, poor house on a hill and as she grew she would play in the small garden and as she grew she was able to see over the garden fence and across the valley to a wonderful house high on the hill – and this house had golden windows, so golden and shining that the little girl would dream of how magic it would be to grow up and live in a house with golden windows instead of an ordinary house like hers.

And although she loved her parents and her family, she yearned to live in such a golden house and dreamed all day about how wonderful and exciting it must feel to live there.

When she got to an age where she gained enough skill and sensibility to go outside her garden fence, she asked her mother is she could go for a bike ride outside the gate and down the lane. After pleading with her, her mother finally allowed her to go, insisting that she kept close to the house and didn’t wander too far. The day was beautiful and the little girl knew exactly where she was heading! Down the lane and across the valley, she rode her bike until she got to the gate of the golden house across on the other hill.

As she dismounted her bike and lent it against the gate post, she focused on the path that lead to the house and then on the house itself…and was so disappointed as she realized all the windows were plain and rather dirty, reflecting nothing other than the sad neglect of the house that stood derelict.

So sad she didn’t go any further and turned, heart broken as she remounted her bike … As she glanced up she saw a sight to amaze her…there across the way on her side of the valley was a little house and its windows glistened golden …as the sun shone on her little home.

She realized that she had been living in her golden house and all the love and care she found there was what made her home the ‘golden house’. Everything she dreamed was right there in front of her nose!

Face difficulties positively

This parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule praying or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together, told them what had happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, HE WOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP!

This he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up!” He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP!

It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him . . . all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

THAT’S LIFE! If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity.

SOLDIER

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco. Mom and Dad, I m coming home, but I’ve a favour to ask. I have a friend I’d like to bring home with me. Sure,they replied,we’d love to meet him.

There’s something you should know the son continued, he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mine and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come and live with us.

I m sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live. No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us. Son, said the father, you don’t know what you’re asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can’t let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He’ll find a way to live on his own.

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognised him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn’t know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don’t like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren’t as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are.

Thankfully, there’s someone who won’t treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.

Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us !!!

Every little hello, every little smile, every helping hand saves a hurting heart. Pass it on. With this, also comes the token that says that YOU are special. There’s a miracle called Friendship that dwells in the heart. You don’t know how it happens or when it gets started but, you know the special lift it always brings and you realise that Friendship is God’s most precious gift!

Be Careful What You Wish For

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him, and as he sits down, the waitress comes over and asks for their order.

The man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich. “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $6.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and the ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.” Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad,” says the man. “Same for me,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, “That will be $12.62.” Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer.

“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right! Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “One other thing, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say!”

You are a Desi, if.....

1....you ask for small drink at fast food restaurant because the refill is free.
2....you know more than one plans offered by long distance companies.
3....you take plain water instead of Coke for lunch. (may also be a health nut)
4....you take any drink with no ice because you can't drink ice.
5....you ask before eating any meat "Is this beef?".
6....you try to ignore all other unknown desi's around you.
7....you tell your friends about this wonderful opportunity, and invite them to an Amway meeting
8....you know all the facilities available at public library.
9....you talk to Americans as if you represent your whole country.
10....stove top in your apartment is covered with aluminum foil.
11.....you frequent to yard sales every week.
12....you find taco bell sauce packets in your kitchen drawer.
13....your dinner involves spreading newspaper on living room floor.
14....you take off your shoes before stepping foot in your living room.
15....if you like onion rings at Burger King.
16....you are looking for dual voltage appliances.
17....the phrase "When are you going to India" comes into your conversation at least once a day.
18....you bought Toyota or Honda car only because it has better resale value.
19.....the number of long distance calls is more than domestic calls.
20.....you keep switching your internet service provider because first month is free.
21.....you go back to your apartment for lunch.
22.....your full name contains more than 15 characters.
23.....you know all the $1.50 theaters in your city.
24.....the only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there is free food.
25.....you have spent nights in the car while traveling because you wanted to save money spent on cheap motel.
26.....you don't know any American outside your work.
27.....you tried to flirt with the Hindi speaking operator at AT&T.
28.....you have at least one Indian made pressure cooker in your kitchen.
29.....you know how much a 7 layer burrito costs at Taco Bell.
30.....you run to Laundromat in your lungi.
31.....put oil in your hair.
32.....you have a picture of Indian deity on the dashboard of your car.
33.....if this thought comes to you "Oh shit I just saw another desi" when you are window shopping at the mall.
34.....if you keep comparing prices at Circuit City for the phone you bought six months ago.
35.....the lawyer handling your green card is in your speed dial.
36.....you are compelled to visit every major city in US, just so as to say that "Yes I have been there "
37.....you are comfortable with an American than an ABCD.
38.....you have been to Mexico or Canada for multiple entry H1 Visa.
39.....you pay your bills the day they come in mail.
40.....spent 2 days cleaning your apartment before leaving so you can get full security refund from landlord.
41.....have a bucket in your bath tub.
42.....you have to borrow luggage from friends for India visit.
43.....the smoke detector goes off whenever your are cooking dinner.
44.....you know which grocery store keeps coriander.
45.....you buy butter milk before you run out of it.
46.....you use grocery bags as garbage bags.
47.....you say 'Damn I have already seen this show" when ever you are watching Married With Children.
48.....you buy rice in the 20 pound bags.
49.....office supplies mysteriously find their way in your house.
50.....you don't want to buy a printer because you can always use the office printer.
51.....you have postponed buying answering machine because the computer you are planning to buy six months later has in built answering machine.
52.....your idea of fun involves bowling.
53.....you starts spelling your name to the operator like A as in Apple, B as in boy , T as in train ...well you get the idea.
54.....you ask another desi if he /she ever got a traffic ticket.
55.....you haven't had a single female in your apartment besides your friends wife.
56.....you bring over the counter medicines like Iodex and Vicks from India.
57.....decide to marry a girl, your parents fixed without even meeting her.
58.....you know the current differential in gold prices between India and US.
59.....you go to a temple to look at girls.
60.....you have worked illegally in a Guju's motel.
61.....you mark your forehead with sacred ash.
62.....you have bought a video camera just before Niagara trip and returned it after the trip.
63.....wear VIP/Indian brand underwear and undershirts.
64.....you have Rin (detergent soap cake) in your bathroom.
65.....you have taken pictures of your car and mailed to your folks back home.
66....you use the credit card with maximum cash back.
67....you have collected enough frequent flier miles for a international trip.
68....you are saving more that 30 % of your salary.
69....you talk about the sexual escapades of your friend.
70....you have never asked a girl out. (you might just be plain ugly too)
71....you've bookmarked immigration web pages in your browser.
72....you know your friends salaries!
73....you smell likes a curry.
74....you have asked a PhD student for a ride to grocery store.
75....there are more than 4 guys living in a 2 bedroom apartment.
76....you have a cooking schedule in your kitchen cabinet.
77....you spend at least 2 evenings in a week at Kmart.
78....you split even the tax out of your common grocery bill.
79....you complain about Indian international airports on your first vacation to India.
80....you take 4 week long vacation

Want more Rajnikanth!!

Recently china airports were closed due to heavy fog........ Later it was discovered that Rajanikanth was smoking in India!!!!!!!!!!

Rajanikanth did his KG from seven different places..today those places are
known as IIT's!!!!!!

Government of India pays tax to Rajanikanth for living in India !!!!!!!

Definition of solar eclipse:
When Rajanikanth stares at sun with anger, sun hides behind the moon. This
greatest phenomena is called solar eclipse.........!!!!!

Rajanikanth woke up one day and decided he should share atleast one percent
of his knowledge with the world...... Thus....................... The google was born!!!!

Think what would have happened if Rajani would have born 150 years ago..?????
British would have fought for independence....

Best rajani joke!!!!!!
Even ghajini remembers rajani!!!!

An email was sent from mysore to bangalore
Rajanikanth stopped it at mandya ....

Why do earthquake occurs?????
Because at that time Rajanikanth's mobile is on vibration mode!!!!!!!!!

Once Rajanikanth bunked a whole day in school.....!
Since then that day is known as..............................
Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The pyramids in Egypt are actually........................................... Rajanikanths primary school craft projects!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breaking news:
ISRO does not exists anymore.....!!
Rajanikanth purchased all the rockets for diwali celebration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did Rajani buy an acre of land wth 4 wells on each corner?????
....................... To play carrom!!!!!!

Before tom cruise, rajani was approached for the movie mission impossible,
but Rajani refused as he found the title insulting..

Rajnikanths next project. Titanic in tamil. Climax revised. Both survive.
Rajnikant swims across the atlantic ocean with heroine in one hand and… titanic
in the other.

Dr Sigmund Freud's Priorities

Sigmund Freud's Priorities Five things are happening in your house at the

same time. In which

sequence would you solve them?

1. The telephone is ringing!

2. The baby is crying!

3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!

4. You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!

5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is

already overflowing!

In which sequence would you solve these problems?

Write the sequence and check below how your decisions were made.

BUT BE HONEST, THE FINDINGS ARE EXCITING.

First write YOUR sequence from 1 to 5 then scroll below and read after!

Answer:

Every individual point represents something in your life.On the list you can see which meaning every point has:

1. Telephone represents Work

2. Baby represents Family

3. Door represents Friends

4. Clothes represent Money

5. Tap represents Sex

Your chosen sequence determines the priorities in your life.

Now....did you turn off the tap first ? ;-)

Why aren't you afraid of me?

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking.Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.

'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.

'Nope,' said the old man

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'

The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.

Sixth Sense

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.

He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there,drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me.
This morning our neighbour James dropped dead on our Porch."

Roles in Heaven:

Brahma Systems Installation
Vishnu Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada Data transfer
Yama Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras Downloadable Viruses
Devas Mainframe Programmers
Surya Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas In house Hackers
Ravan ! ;Internet Explorer WWWF
Lakshman Support Software and Backup
Hanuman Linux/s390
Jatayu Firewall
Dronacharya System Programmer
Vishwamitra Sr. Manager Projects
Valmiki Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Arjun Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu Trainee Programmer
Draupadi Motivation & Team building
Bhima Mainframe Legacy System
Duryodhana Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra Visual C++
Gandhari Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas Microsoft Service Packs and patches

This Is Called Confidence!

Hypothetical situation where 20 executives board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless technology:

It is an uncrewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system.

Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.

One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed.Asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies: "If it's the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off.
This is called Confidence.