The In-Flight Adventure of the Truly Unbeatable Boxer

Once upon a time, there was a boxer who was convinced he was unbeatable. He'd never lost a single match in his life, and his ego had grown to Superman proportions as a result.

This arrogant boxer found himself on a plane, soaring through the skies one day. However, just as he sat down, the pilot's voice crackled over the intercom, saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that we are experiencing some turbulence due to bad weather." Please wear your seat belts for your own safety."

In his unwavering confidence, the boxer reasoned, "Why should I, the unbeatable Superman, bother with a mere seat belt?"

As the plane continued to sway and jolt, a lovely air hostess approached him and asked, "Sir, could you please fasten your seat belt for safety reasons?"

"Superman doesn't need a seat belt," the boxer retorted with a smug grin. "I'm unbeatable!"

This back-and-forth continued, with the persistent air hostess attempting to persuade the boxer of the importance of wearing his seat belt. Every time, the boxer insisted, "Superman doesn't need a seat belt."

Finally, the flight attendant had had enough. "Well, sir, just to let you know, Superman doesn't need a plane to fly either!" she replied, frustrated and with a twinkle in her eye.

The entire plane burst out laughing, and even the boxer couldn't stop himself from laughing at the witty response. From then on, he realized that even unbeatable boxers must follow the laws of gravity, turbulence, and seat belts when flying in friendly skies.

Waiting for a Train

Mike and his wife, Alice, check into a hotel. Mike wants to go to the bar for a drink, but Alice is very tired from the trip and decides to go up to their room to rest.

Just as Alice lies down on the bed, an elevated train passes by very close to the window, shaking the room so hard that she's thrown out of the bed.

Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, Alice lies down once more. Again, a train goes by and shakes the room so violently that she's thrown to the floor.

Exasperated, Alice calls the front desk and asks for the manager, who says he'll be right up.

The manager is skeptical, but Alice insists the story is true. "Look.." Alice says, "Lie here on the bed, you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So, the manager lies down next to Alice.

Just then Mike enters the room. "What are you doing here??!!" Mike shouts.

"Would you believe if I say I'm waiting for a train?" the manager calmly replies.

And he was thrown right to the floor by Mike.

Keep you Mobile Loaded...!!

There was a girl called Tina whom Tejas really loved but he never had the guts to tell her how much he loves her.

One night, at around 11:00pm, Tejas summoned some courage and sent Tina a sms message saying, "I love you so much, I want to date you. Please reply and tell me how you feel about me."

A few seconds later Tejas received a message alert on his phone. Tejas was so excited but at the same time was also scared and too tensed to open it that night, so he decided not to check the reply until the next morning when he will be less tensed.

When Tejas woke up the next day, he said his prayers, did his morning chores, brushed his teeth, ate his breakfast, took his bath and combed his hair, then jumped back to his bed and gently picked up his phone to read the message.

Tejas started reading:
"Dear customer, you have insufficient balance to complete your request. Kindly reload your account and try again. Thank you."

Mystery of Beard

Mukesh is married to Geeeta but he is having an extra-marital affair with another girl called Meeta.

One afternoon when Mukesh was with Meeta, she asked that he shave his beard.

"I do like your beard, Mukesh, but I would really love to see your handsome face." Meeta said.

"My wife loves this beard, honey." Mukesh replied. "I couldn't possibly shave it. She would kill me."

"Oh, please..." Meeta purred.

"Really, I can't." Mukesh replied. "My wife loves this beard!"

Meeta asked once more, and Mukesh sighed and finally gave up.

That night, Mukesh crawled into bed while Geeeta was sleeping.

Geeeta stirred, felt his face, and said, "Oh, Mahesh, you shouldn't be here! My husband will be home any time soon!"

The Innocent Bottle

A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night. He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight.

He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one onto the wall.

He smashed the first bottle swearing,
"you are the reason I fight with my wife".

He smashed the second bottle,
"you are the reason I don't love my children".

He smashed the third bottle,
"you are the reason I don't have a decent job".

When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and was full.

He hesitated for only a moment and said

"you stand aside, I know you were not involved".

Loan from Jonny

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. "If you had ten dollars," said the teacher, "and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?"
"Ten," Little Johnny answered firmly.
"Ten?" she said, "How do you make it ten?"
Replied Little Johnny, "You may ask for a loan of $8 dollars but that doesn't mean you'll get it!"

Roles in Heaven:

Brahma Systems Installation
Vishnu Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada Data transfer
Yama Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras Downloadable Viruses
Devas Mainframe Programmers
Surya Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas In house Hackers
Ravan ! ;Internet Explorer WWWF
Lakshman Support Software and Backup
Hanuman Linux/s390
Jatayu Firewall
Dronacharya System Programmer
Vishwamitra Sr. Manager Projects
Valmiki Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Arjun Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu Trainee Programmer
Draupadi Motivation & Team building
Bhima Mainframe Legacy System
Duryodhana Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra Visual C++
Gandhari Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas Microsoft Service Packs and patches

Children's Jokes

1. Father: The school report gives you 'D' for conduct and an 'A' for courtesy. How did you manage that?
Son: Whenever I punch someone I apologise.

2. Barber: How do you want your hair cut?
Boy: Like Daddy's - with a hole at the top.

3. Sir: Those who want to go to Heaven, hands up! All but Sunil do so.
Sir: Sunil, don't you want to go?
Sunil: My mom told me to come straight home!

4. Teacher: Ram what's your favourite state?
Ram: Maharashtra
Teacher: How do you spell it?
Ram: Err.. I like UP much better.

5. Son: I don't want to go to school! The teachers think I'm stupid & the kids hate me.
Mom: No! You should go. You are the Principal.

6. Teacher: I wish you would pay a little attention!
Student:I am paying as little as I can.

7. Teacher: Tom, your short story is truly fantastic. Did you really write it?
Tom: Yes, I wrote it, while my mother dictated.

8. Teacher: Tom, go to the map & find North America.
Tom: Here it is!
Teacher: Right. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: TOM!!

9. Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

10. Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

11. What did Mother broom say to Baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.

BEEP

Sally was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day after day, all she’d hear, from friends, family, and customers alike, would be their message and then they’d ALL say, "BEEP."

She discovered the solution to the BEEP riddle when she dialed her own phone number and listened to her message.

Her message said, "I’m not available right now, so please leave a beep after the message."