Children's Jokes

1. Father: The school report gives you 'D' for conduct and an 'A' for courtesy. How did you manage that?
Son: Whenever I punch someone I apologise.

2. Barber: How do you want your hair cut?
Boy: Like Daddy's - with a hole at the top.

3. Sir: Those who want to go to Heaven, hands up! All but Sunil do so.
Sir: Sunil, don't you want to go?
Sunil: My mom told me to come straight home!

4. Teacher: Ram what's your favourite state?
Ram: Maharashtra
Teacher: How do you spell it?
Ram: Err.. I like UP much better.

5. Son: I don't want to go to school! The teachers think I'm stupid & the kids hate me.
Mom: No! You should go. You are the Principal.

6. Teacher: I wish you would pay a little attention!
Student:I am paying as little as I can.

7. Teacher: Tom, your short story is truly fantastic. Did you really write it?
Tom: Yes, I wrote it, while my mother dictated.

8. Teacher: Tom, go to the map & find North America.
Tom: Here it is!
Teacher: Right. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: TOM!!

9. Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

10. Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

11. What did Mother broom say to Baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.