Funny Love & Marriage Quotes

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that."

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."

"In married life three is company and two none."

"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

"The General was essentially a man of peace, except of course in his domestic affairs."

"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."

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